Our Daughter’s Eyes

My little bear cub

When my daughter was three, a terrifying thought struck me: If something happened to Kate and me, Erin wouldn’t even remember us! In my view, that would be a tragedy of epic proportions. She was the center of our world and the joy of our lives. I couldn’t stand the thought of someone else raising Erin and her having no memory of the parents who loved her more than life itself.

I couldn’t get that thought out of my head, and finally had to express it on paper. The result was a song lyric called Our Daughter’s Eyes. I worked on it quite a while before I was satisfied that I had given it my best effort.

Fast-forward six years. I was so impressed with Dr. Bernie Siegel’s landmark book, Love, Medicine & Miracles that I sent him a copy of Our Daughter’s Eyes because I thought it was in sync with the subject matter of the book. Bernie wrote back to say that he couldn’t read it without crying and wanted to include it in his next book. I happily agreed.

As the months rolled by, my anticipation mounted. I kept checking with local bookstores to ask if Peace, Love & Healing was out yet. One day, I was strolling by the WaldenBooks in Knollwood Mall near my home so I stopped in. Woo hoo! There was Bernie’s book on the front display shelf.

I excitedly but methodically went through it page by page looking for my masterpiece. Finally, on page 250, I spotted it! A huge smile broke across my face . . . only to be replaced an instant later with an expression of abject horror. In the intro to Our Daughter’s Eyes, Bernie noted that my wife had died six years ago! Oh, my God, I thought. Kate is going to kill me!

Indeed, Kate had told me that I should alert Bernie that Our Daughter’s Eyes was fictional, but I dismissed her concerns, thinking that such a caveat was unnecessary. Well, she was right. I was wrong. And, how should I say this . . . she was displeased.

About a year later, Bernie came to Minneapolis to speak, and Kate and I went to see him. After his lecture, I brought Kate up to the stage and introduced her: “See,” I told Bernie. “She’s not dead!” Today, happily, Kate finds the whole incident rather amusing, referring to Peace, Love & Healing as “the book I died in.” And this year, things came full circle as Bernie contributed a story to my book, Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything.

So that’s the story. And this is Our Daughter’s Eyes:

OUR DAUGHTER’S EYES

At three in the morning, without any warning,
You slipped into my dreams.
I awoke with a start and I felt that my heart
Was coming apart at the seams.

I switched on the light and paced the rest of the night,
It’s been months since I’ve been able to rest.
It’s been such a strain, I still don’t feel the pain,
But there’s a fire raging deep within my chest.

I watched all our plans slip right through my hands,
Though I clenched them tight and tried my best to pray.
I sat by your side and we laughed till I cried,
And you told me I’d find someone else someday.

And oh, how you smiled when you spoke of our child,
Though your voice was weak and slow.
You wanted to hold her, asleep on your shoulder,
And never let her go.

And I remember the last time I held you close
And whispered a silent prayer,
You held my face in your trembling hands,
And gently stroked my hair.

And you said, “Look for me in our daughter’s eyes,
And you will find me there.
I never will leave you, so honey, don’t grieve,
It’s more than I can bear.
And I thank God for our time together
And the joy you brought to my life.”
And then you closed your eyes and I whispered, “Goodbye,”
My best friend, my woman, my wife.

Well, last night, our daughter said her prayers and climbed into her bed,
She lay down on her pillow and then slowly turned her head,
I gazed into her face as you came climbing through her eyes,
I felt a warm embrace like a breeze from summer skies.
My disbelief gave way to grief, I brushed away a tear,
And then I heard you softly singing, rich and crisp and clear.
You poured your music on my soul, it blossomed like a rose,
Those gaping wounds of empty rooms began to heal and close.
And when at last your music passed, and your caress was gone,
I sat quite still, not moving until I heard our daughter yawn.
I noticed that her blanket had been pulled up to her chin,
She smiled and said, “Good night, Daddy. Mommy tucked me in.”

And you said, “Look for me in our daughter’s eyes,
And you will find me there.
I never will leave you, so honey, don’t grieve,
It’s more than I can bear.
And I thank God for our time together,
And the joy you brought to my life.”
And then you closed your eyes and I kissed you goodbye,
My best friend, my woman, my wife.

 

ABOUT PHIL BOLSTA

Phil is the author of Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything, a collection of 45 inspiring, life-changing stories from prominent people he interviewed, including Joan Borysenko, Deepak Chopra, geneticist Dr. Francis Collins, acclaimed sportswriter Frank Deford, Dr. Larry Dossey, Wayne Dyer, Dan Millman, Caroline Myss, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Dr. Dean Ornish, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, Dr. Bernie Siegel, James Van Praagh, singer Billy Vera, Doreen Virtue, Neale Donald Walsch, and bassist Victor Wooten.

Here is a three-minute video that introduces you to Phil and his book.

Reading this book is like spending a few minutes face to face with each of the contributors and listening to their personal stories. Click here to read unsolicited testimonials from readers. Learn more by visiting the official Sixty Seconds website.

Tags: Bernie Siegel, joy of our lives, love medicine and miracles, loved her more than life itself, Our Daughter's Eyes, peace love and healing, spiritual