Whenever I meet someone new, my ego keeps poking me like a little kid, badgering me to blurt out something impressive so the person I’m talking to will find me interesting and special and worth listening to.
I monitor myself continually in social situations, so I can see my ego barreling in from a mile away. Most of the time, I’m able to step in front of it and deflect it, but sometimes it crashes through my defenses and I find myself saying things like, “Yes, I wrote about that in my book.”
On the way home from a social gathering, I mentally scan my “ego vs. spirit” scorecard. On a good night, my ego gets shut out and I congratulate myself on my restraint. On a typical night, I gratuitously reference a recent achievement and drop a name or two.
It’s maddening! Even when I’m asking the other person questions about themselves and listening intently and genuinely, I’m constantly swatting my ego away. Yes, it’s certainly acceptable, even advisable, to share complimentary information about yourself during social encounters, but only when asked and never with the intent of one-upmanship.
It’s helpful to remind myself that the person I’m talking to is as much a child of God as I am. Focusing on their inner divinity snaps me out of my self-absorbed mindset and naturally produces feelings of empathy, compassion, and love. That works for me, because I much prefer being a sender of affection than the center of attention.
ABOUT PHIL BOLSTA
Phil is the author of Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything, a collection of 45 inspiring, life-changing stories from prominent people he interviewed, including Joan Borysenko, Deepak Chopra, geneticist Dr. Francis Collins, acclaimed sportswriter Frank Deford, Dr. Larry Dossey, Wayne Dyer, Dan Millman, Caroline Myss, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Dr. Dean Ornish, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, Dr. Bernie Siegel, James Van Praagh, singer Billy Vera, Doreen Virtue, Neale Donald Walsch, and bassist Victor Wooten.
Here is a three-minute video that introduces you to Phil and his book.
Reading this book is like spending a few minutes face to face with each of the contributors and listening to their personal stories. Click here to read unsolicited testimonials from readers. Learn more by visiting the official Sixty Seconds website.
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Tags: center of attention, child of God, ego vs. spirit, sender of affection, spiritual
