How do we begin the process of forgiveness, of release? It may help to view your adversary in a new light—not as a powerful monster, but as a flawed, insecure human being in need of love and compassion. In other words, much like yourself.
We must learn actually not to have enemies, but only confused adversaries who are ourselves in disguise.
Alice Walker
In fact, you may be your own antagonist. Resentment is the inability to forgive others; guilt is the inability to forgive yourself.
Every guilty person is his own hangman.
Seneca
If you are wracked with guilt, it may help to view your former self as a separate person, as someone who no longer resembles you, who did not have the knowledge and wisdom that you now possess.
The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.
Alden Nowlan
Reframing your transgression by recognizing the limitations of the person you used to be may give you the distance you need to apply these principles and find some measure of peace.
I do not want the peace that passeth understanding. I want the understanding which bringeth peace.
Helen Keller
HERE ARE MY FORGIVENESS-RELATED POSTS:
EVA KOR: A HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR FORGIVES THE UNFORGIVABLE
IMMACULEE ILIBAGEZA: A RWANDA GENOCIDE SURVIVOR WHO COULD ONLY KNOW PEACE THROUGH FORGIVENESS
BILLY VERA: FORGIVENESS IS THE DOORWAY TO HEAVEN
MY VIDEO INTERVIEW WITH SPIRITUAL MEDIUM JAMES VAN PRAAGH
MY 2002 MAGAZINE INTERVIEW WITH WAYNE DYER
CAROLINE MYSS VIDEO ON HOW FORGIVENESS PROMOTES PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALING
WE CHOOSE OUR JOYS AND SORROWS
RECOGNIZE THE LIMITATIONS OF WHO YOU USED TO BE
REWRITE YUR STORY THROUGH FORGIVENESS
LOVE + FORGIVENESS = RELATIONSHIP REPAIR
A PRAYER FOR SENDING PEOPLE LIGHT AND LOVE
ABOUT PHIL BOLSTA
Phil is the author of Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything, a collection of 45 inspiring, life-changing stories from prominent people he interviewed, including Joan Borysenko, Deepak Chopra, geneticist Dr. Francis Collins, acclaimed sportswriter Frank Deford, Dr. Larry Dossey, Wayne Dyer, Dan Millman, Caroline Myss, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Dr. Dean Ornish, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, Dr. Bernie Siegel, James Van Praagh, singer Billy Vera, Doreen Virtue, Neale Donald Walsch, and bassist Victor Wooten.
Here is a three-minute video that introduces you to Phil and his book. Click here to buy Sixty Seconds. Click here to ask Phil to add you to his e-mail list for updates on his blog and books.
Reading this book is like spending a few minutes face to face with each of the contributors and listening to their personal stories. Click here to read unsolicited testimonials from readers. Learn more by visiting the official Sixty Seconds website.
Sixty Seconds was one of three finalists in the General Interest/How-To category at the 12th annual Visionary Awards presented by COVR (Coalition of Visionary Resources) in Denver on June 27, 2009.
Tags: guilt, peace, release, resentment, self-forgiveness, spiritual, wisdom
December 20, 2009 at 7:45 PM
it is when we try to forgive (whether others or ourselves) that we realize one of our limitations – the difficulty of forgiving – and that to forgive is truly Divine.
maybe when we have sought for and received forgiveness from Him for our transgressions, we can take comfort in that it has been done for us in spite of our own difficulty of forgiving ourselves, and move on.
December 20, 2009 at 7:49 PM
Yes, ArrVee, it seems to me that in order to forgive others, we need to be able to forgive ourselves. Just as we must love ourselves if we are to be able to truly love others.