The Courage, Grace and Loving Friendship of Carla Meyers



There is no magic formula for friendship. The bond that unites friends is as mysterious as it is certain.

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.
Michel de Montaigne




True friends imprint their essences on each other’s souls. Even as your tears and laughter recede into the swirling mists of memories lost, the heart holds dear every unspoken expression of love that passed between you.

When you meet your friend on the roadside or in the market place, let the spirit in you move your lips and direct your tongue.
Let the voice within your voice speak to the ear of his ear;
For his soul will keep the truth of your heart as the taste of the wine is remembered
When the colour is forgotten and the vessel is no more.

Kahlil Gibran




Cyn Bolsta, Carla Meyers and Sandy Bolsta enjoying one of their frequent outings

Carla Meyers, my mother’s very best friend, passed away on Thursday, February 18, 2010 after a five-year struggle with ovarian cancer. Carla, who had just turned fifty-seven the month before, leaves behind her loving and attentive  husband, Greg, and two gifted college-age children, Elissa and Andy.

Carla, my mom Sandy and my sister Cyn shared many wonderful memories together over the past twenty years. My mom feels grateful and blessed that she was able to stay with Carla and Greg for three weeks last month caring for them both as Carla’s condition worsened and Greg was recovering from hip surgery.

In a testament to Carla’s boundless courage and endless grace in accepting and facing the inevitable, Cyn wrote the following lovely tribute to Carla.


Being Carla’s friend over the years has been a joy and a privilage, but it’s the way she lived her life since her diagnosis that has re-taught me a lesson I should have learned a long time ago. I had just graduated high school, and my reward was a trip to California to visit relatives. One cousin had invited me to join his family on a camping trip in Yosemite, and I was pretty gung ho.

A couple of miles into the hike, and I was less so. My new hiking boots were rubbing my ankles raw with each passing step, and the cousins, tired of my slow pace, moved up the trail without me. I was hot, I was hurting, I was lightheaded from the altitude, and I was alone. I was hiking on a path though an open meadow, thinking how truly horrible my life was.

And that’s when I saw the bear.

It was some yards away, at the treeline, and in that instant, all those other problems disappeared, and my whole world was me and the bear. I froze, and after what seemed like much longer than it must have been, the bear turned and lumbered back into the forest. I should have learned the lesson that day, that until you see the bear, life isn’t really so bad after all. But I was eighteen, self-involved and had a whole lot more to learn.

Carla saw the bear more than five years ago, and unlike me, she looked it straight in the eye and told it to back off. And this being Carla Meyers, the bear did—not back into the forest, but only to the tree line so it could match her step for step on her path. Imagine what that must be like;  waking every day and facing your own mortality. Even with the bear in constant view, Carla continued to live her life and find the joy, through surgery after surgery, through one invasive procedure after another, year after year after year. But time and tide and bears wait for no one, not even an extraordinary woman like Carla Meyers.

I know there’s still a bear out there with my name on it, and when the time comes I can only hope I face it with half of her will and grace and humor. But until then, Carla has taught me to focus on the bliss and not the blisters.





Click here to view all my posts about dealing courageously with cancer.






ABOUT PHIL BOLSTA

Through God’s Eyes: Finding Peace and Purpose in a Troubled World, is a road map for living a more peaceful, beautiful life. It’s the one book that explains how dozens of spiritual principles interact, how to weave them together into a cohesive worldview, and how to practically apply this spiritual wisdom to daily life.

Who will benefit from reading Through God’s Eyes?
Anyone who is on a spiritual path, or wants to start one.
Anyone who loves life, or wants to learn how to.
Anyone who is happy, or wants to be happier.

Click here to order your copy of Through God’s Eyes from GodsEyesAmazon.com.
For an inscribed copy, click here to e-mail Phil for information.

Click on the link below to download a FREE 28-page chapter!
SEE EVERY MOMENT AS A GIFT

Click here to visit the Through God’s Eyes website.

Click here to ask Phil to add you to his e-mail list for updates on his blog and books.

Here is a two-minute video introduction to Through God’s Eyes.



Like to learn more about Through God’s Eyes? Here is a free 44-page PDF sampler from the book that includes:

• an overview of the book
• the complete table of contents
• the Foreword by Caroline Myss
• my Introduction
• chapter excerpts
• a sample end-of-chapter story
• endorsements from authors and thought leaders

Just click on the link below to download your free PDF sampler!
THROUGH GOD’S EYES PDF SAMPLER




Schedule a Mastery Mentoring phone session with Phil to learn how to apply principles of spiritual living more effortlessly and effectively. Priced affordably! Click here to e-mail Phil for details.



logic-of-living-a-spiritual-life-book-cover

Phil’s eBook, The Logic of Living a Spiritual Life: Supporting a Life of Faith Through Logic and Reason, is now available for 99 cents.

Order it at GodIsLogical.com.

In this eBook, you’ll find answers to questions like:
• What is the cornerstone of a spiritual life, and why?
• What is the secret to liberating yourself from other people’s judgments and expectations?
• How do you reconcile the “free will vs. Divine Will” conundrum?
• Why is there an exception to “Everything happens for a reason”?


Those who worship logic instead of God are only half right. Not only is it logical to believe in God and to live a faith-based life, the existence of a loving, benevolent God that governs all creation is perhaps the only systematic worldview that explains every aspect of life.



SiSe_fullcover_final.inddPhil is also the author of Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything, a collection of 45 inspiring, life-changing stories from prominent authors and thought leaders he interviewed. The roster of storytellers includes Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Neale Donald Walsch, Caroline Myss, Larry Dossey, Rachel Naomi Remen, Bernie Siegel, Dean Ornish, and Christiane Northrup. Sixty Seconds has been translated into four languages: Italian, German, Spanish, and Portuguese. Reading this book is like spending a few minutes face to face with each of the contributors and listening to their personal stories.

Click here to order Sixty Seconds.

Click here to read unsolicited testimonials from readers.

Learn more by visiting the official Sixty Seconds website.

Here is a three-minute video introduction to Sixty Seconds.





Tags: ,

8 Responses to “The Courage, Grace and Loving Friendship of Carla Meyers”

  1. ArrVee Says:

    what is interesting is what has driven her to fight back all those years. Maybe one is forced to ponder one’s mission in life, and then to make the most of one’s remaining time towards its fulfillment. Maybe the bear did not catch up with her, but when she was ready, she stopped to meet the bear.

    like Robert Frost put it:

    ” … The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
    But I have promises to keep,
    And miles to go before I sleep,
    And miles to go before I sleep.”

    May she rest in peace.

  2. Phil Bolsta Says:

    I believe she did stop to meet the bear, ArrVee, when it was time to do so. But she held it at bay very bravely until then.

  3. Kate Says:

    Love Cyn’s tribute to Carla. Also, that you, ArrVee, quoted Robert Frost. My mother, who is another courageous survivor, has quoted that part of Frost’s poem to me as long as I can remember.

  4. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Thanks for contributing, Kate. I appreciate it.

  5. Greg Says:

    Thanks for the kind words. Carla and I have greatly valued. the friendship of your whole family. I’ll never forget the caring……
    Greg

  6. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Thank you so much, Greg. Your eulogy for Carla was so beautiful and so heartfelt. What a blessing it was to share your life with her. Our lives are better for having known her and I will be forever grateful for the friendship and love that Carla brought to my mom’s life.

  7. Ellen Besso Says:

    Phil: A very lovely tribute, thank you. I am now supporting a friend whose young adult daughter is living her last hours. The mother herself has a terminal diagnosis.

    There is a very beautiful poem by John O’Donohue, former Irish priest, philosopher & mystic & one of my special mentors. I feel you & your family will appreciate the poem very much. It’s about passing on: http://www.johnodonohue.com/?page_id=2

    Also I wrote a blog about John today (we were very fortunate to take a workshop with him). I wanted to let people know there will be a PBS Special about him soon.

    Warm wishes
    Ellen Besso

  8. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Thank you, Ellen. I am very sorry to hear about your friend and her daughter. I can’t imagine anything more difficult than watching your child suffer like that.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 401 other followers

%d bloggers like this: