Michiko and Kimiko: A Love Story

Not long ago, I was reading a free weekly newspaper at Swami’s Cafe in Encinitas, California, when a photo jumped off the page and into my heart. The photo, which is at once both beautiful and heartbreaking, showed Michiko Lindsey cradling her cancer-stricken child, Kimiko. The accompanying story told of Kimiko’s battle with cancer and of Michiko’s battle to stay sane and strong in the midst of her fear and grief. Deeply touched by what I read, I contacted Michiko and asked her to tell me her story from the beginning. So here, in Michiko’s own words, interspersed with actual journal entries from her CaringBridge journal, is her love letter to her beloved daughter.

Michiko Lindsey and Kimiko Lindsey-Schroder

KIMIKO ANNA LINDSEY-SCHRODER: PROFILE IN COURAGE

I named my daughter Kimiko because in Japanese, “ki” means precious, “mi” means beautiful, and “ko” means child. She may be only one-quarter Japanese but she is a full-blooded precious, beautiful child. I’ve loved her ever since I first dreamed of her when I was fifteen years old, twenty-five years before she was born.

Kimi’s nurse practitioner had pronounced her perfectly healthy at her annual physical on July 29, 2010, a week after her fourth birthday. Six weeks later, on September 10, her daycare provider called me to say that Kimi was crying because her back hurt. I picked her up and took her to Urgent Care, where I was told that she probably had caught a flu bug. Since we were leaving for Japan later that month, I made an appointment with her pediatrician for September 17, just to make sure. On the 15th, I was thrilled when Kimi called from her dad’s to say that her back pain was gone. But later that day, after going to the movies with her Aunt Dee and Uncle Chris, her leg hurt so much that she couldn’t walk. When Chris called me, I said, “I’ll meet you at Urgent Care.”

Thank God that Chris had e-mailed me the night before. After doing some online research and talking to a doctor friend of his, he had recommended that I ask her pediatrician for a CBC (complete blood count) and MRI. He may have saved Kimi’s life because if

A Birthday Letter to The Momma

The Momma and me forty years ago

Today my mom turns eighty-one. I don’t know what I did to deserve such a wonderful mom, but I am humbled and grateful to be blessed so much. With her permission, I am sharing the birthday letter that I wrote to her to thank her for all she’s done for me and to celebrate the beautiful person that she is.

Click here for a more recent photo of us.

Dear Mom,

You are such a wonderful mom that it makes me sad. I’m sad for the millions and millions of people in the world who would give anything and everything they have to have grown up with such loving, caring and supportive parents. I fully realize how fortunate I am to not know their grief and their pain.

I am one of the lucky ones who was blessed with all the love a kid could ever need, the love that enabled me to grow up healthy, happy and self-confident. It was this love that

Be Glad You’re You!

More than twenty years ago, I wrote five poems for Kids Pick the Funniest Poems, a wonderful book that makes kids laugh. One of my poems, “I’m Glad I’m Me,” is on page one and sets the tone for the rest of the book. It lets kids know that in silliness there is strength, and in goofiness there is greatness! Its core messages come through loud and clear:

Be yourself!
Be confident!
Be authentic!
Be proud of who you are!

With all the recent news about bullying in school and with so many kids feeling alienated and isolated, it occurred to me that “I’m Glad I’m Me” should be an anthem and a source of strength for anyone and everyone who feels like an outsider, who feels like they don’t belong and never will. What I hope these children will understand is

I Wish For You A Beautiful Life: A Mother’s Day Wish to Birth Mothers

Lori Anne Yang

This touching Mother’s Day tribute to birth mothers was written by my friend, Lori Anne Yang, for her blog, Mammaste. It is at once uplifting and heartbreaking, as one mother holds her child close while another loves from afar.

I WISH FOR YOU A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
by Lori Anne Yang

Quotes from birth mothers to their babies:

My darling, my other self . . .

                      I touched your cheeks and nose.

You were like an angel who had come from heaven.

I am a mother to five children. To three of them, I am not their only mother. They have birth mothers, and they have me. Today, as I write this on Mother’s Day, I can feel those birth mothers wondering about and remembering their children, our children. On each child’s birthday and on Mother’s Day I always stop to

A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words . . . and a Few Tears

If this photo doesn’t lift your spirits and move you, I don’t know what will.

Thank you to all the servicemen and servicewomen who so loyally serve our country. Just the other day at the co-op, I approached a female

Lori Anne Yang’s Open Apology to Her Eldest Daughter

Lori Anne Yang

My friend, Lori Anne Yang, wrote this insightful post for her blog. I encourage all parents to read it. Hopefully, Lori’s wisdom will prevent them from making parenting mistakes that they will later regret.

AN OPEN APOLOGY TO MY ELDEST DAUGHTER
by Lori Anne Yang

The artistic stylings of Lori's youngest daughter, Harper

There is a sweet little drawing of a smiling face scribbled on the wall next to my bed. The artist is my youngest child when she was about three years old. At the time I calmly told her that walls are not for drawing, and then complimented

Waking Up Full of Awesome

Melissa from PigtailPals.com posted this short essay on August 3, 2011. Six weeks later, it had collected 412,000 views. I know. Awesome. I bet the vast majority of women out there will relate to this. As the father of a daughter who loved to frolic as a kid, I can certainly relate. Melissa was kind enough to give me permission to post her essay here.

The motto of PigtailPals.com is “Redefine Girly: Let’s change the way we think about our girls.” That starts with changing the way we talk to girls. And it starts with you . . . right now . . . reclaiming your awesome!

WAKING UP FULL OF AWESOME

Melissa's daughter Amelia says "Good morning"

There was a time when you were five years old,
and you woke up full of awesome.

You knew you were awesome.

You loved yourself.

You thought you were beautiful,
even with missing teeth and messy hair and mismatched socks inside your grubby sneakers.

You loved your

Calling All Parents!

This morning in the gym, I got to talking with a young guy named Matthew who is two months away from becoming a first-time father. I asked if he was interested in hearing about some wonderful ways to deepen and celebrate the experience of parenthood. He was, so I shared with him a few of these parent-friendly posts:

Click here to learn how and why to capture all the

The Mystery of the Perfect Parents

This thought-provoking article by Lori Gottlieb appeared in The Atlantic online on June 17, 2011. I agree that parents can unintentionally hinder their children’s growth by being too loving—but only if they don’t practice tough love at the same time. That said, I’m convinced that parents need to follow four ironclad rules:

1) Love and cherish your kids unconditionally.

2) Hold your kids accountable for their words and their actions.

3) Demand that your kids

Our Children Bring Us Closer to God

When I was younger, I thought I knew what love was. Then my daughter was born. As I held her in my arms, I realized I had known as much about love as I did about eighteenth-century Latvian architecture. And I intuitively understood how having children brings us closer to God.

As soon as you become a parent, you have a greater understanding of and appreciation for divine love. I’ve been told that God’s love is absolute, unconditional and eternal. Check, check and check.

Michiko and her daughter, Kimi

I recently interviewed Michiko, a woman whose four-year-old daughter, Kimi, is battling cancer. She told me:

When I talk to people who don’t have kids, I just laugh because they don’t understand. It’s like a secret we have; I want to tell it to them but I can’t because they won’t believe me. You have no

The Big Question

Earl Hipp

Earl Hipp had a nice life. He was happy, content and making a good living. Then an unexpected question from an unlikely source penetrated his heart and sent his life veering off into uncharted territory. Earl’s story was so compelling that I interviewed him and wrote it up.

Can you imagine your own life changing so quickly and so dramatically?  Change is a demanding but well-intentioned teacher, for a life of comfort too often degenerates into stagnation and unfulfilled promise. In the deepest part of uncomfortable circumstances stands the gateway to self-awareness and personal power.

Here is Earl’s story.

With one request, a Sudanese refugee named Ojulu Agote changed the course of my life. As a volunteer for the sponsoring organization that brought Ojulu and his family to the U.S., I was meeting with him to help him settle in and get the things he needed to make it through a cold Minnesota February. Ojulu had experienced the horrors of tribal warfare and the abuses of a refugee life. He and his family were living in a cockroach infested one-bedroom apartment and were facing a mountain of practical needs. When I asked Ojulu how I might support him in his new world, he immediately

Have Toddler, Will Travel

As Saint Augustine so aptly noted:

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.

Me? I’m at the top of page two, and that may be stretching it a bit. I’m quite content and happy with my life, but I certainly recognize that traveling, especially at a young age, would have broadened me considerably and opened up whole new worlds of thought and understanding.

I think it’s great for youngsters to travel, early and often. They will then be more apt to be less judgmental, more socially and culturally aware, and consider themselves citizens of the world.

That’s why I liked this essay I read on Mamapedia Voices, a website featuring posts from up-and-coming mom bloggers and well-known mom experts. So pack up those stuffed animals and start surfing travelocity!

WHY I TRAVEL WITH MY SON
by Kaamna Bhojwani-Dhawan

It’s a question that’s often been posed to me: why do you travel so much? Doesn’t your son get unsettled?

Unsettled? Me, maybe, not him.

I think through all the reasons not to travel: cost (especially now that he’s 2), the inconvenience, the discomfort, the glaring non-parental passengers on planes, and think that’s it’s a fair question.

I travel with my son because

Tom Hanks in “Toddlers and Tiaras”

toddlers-tiaras-tom-hanks

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As the dad of the best girl ever, I especially enjoyed this Toddlers & Tiaras spoof starring Tom Hanks and his six-year-old “daughter,” Sophie. It aired

My Mother’s Hands

Lori Anne Yang

I was impressed with this post by my friend, Lori Anne Yang. In it, she poignantly shares the very different perspectives of a mother and her daughter.

A LOVE POEM FROM MY DAUGHTER

I had always been very self-conscious about my knobby-knuckled, hard-working hands. Then I was given this poem. It was written by my then twelve-year-old daughter, Piper.

Though this poem was written to me, it is really a love letter to everyone who lifts children up, supports them in fully becoming their truest selves, and creates a soft spot for them to land in troubling times. We may not always hear it expressed in this beautiful way, but it is how our love is received more often than we know. There is truly so much divinity in the everyday.

MY MOTHER’S HANDS
by Piper (at age 12)

Soft and

The Best Gift You Can Give Your Child

My sister hugs our dad while my pet chameleon frolics on his shoulder

Years ago, I attended a lecture on healing by Dr. Bernie Siegel. During a guided meditation, Bernie asked everyone to close their eyes and visualize the child they used to be. He told us to go back to a specific event that had wounded us, to embrace the child we used to be, to give it the love and compassionate understanding it needed, to talk to that child and assure our former self that it was cherished and wonderful just as it was. As the meditation continued, I looked around. People were overcome with emotion. Tears were running down their cheeks as they bravely addressed the wounds they had struggled with since childhood.

Me? I felt nothing . . . but

Cinderella

cinderella

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I’m a sucker for “Daddy and Daughter” songs, so I can’t help posting Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman. Yep, no matter how much you cherish every moment with your little cub, she’ll grow up faster than you can ever imagine.

Be sure to watch the end of the video. Steven tells a cute story about how he came to write Cinderella.

Click here to watch One More Pitch, the music