Our Daughter’s Eyes


My little bear cub

When my daughter was three, a terrifying thought struck me: If something happened to Kate and me, Erin wouldn’t even remember us! In my view, that would be a tragedy of epic proportions. She was the center of our world and the joy of our lives. I couldn’t stand the thought of someone else raising Erin and her having no memory of the parents who loved her more than life itself.

I couldn’t get that thought out of my head, and finally had to express it on paper. The result was a song lyric called Our Daughter’s Eyes. I worked on it quite a while before I was satisfied that I had given it my best effort.

Fast-forward six years. I was so impressed with Dr. Bernie Siegel’s landmark book, Love, Medicine & Miracles that I sent him a copy of Our Daughter’s Eyes because I thought it was in sync with the subject matter of the book. Bernie wrote back to say that he couldn’t read it without crying and wanted to include it in his next book. I happily agreed.

As the months rolled by, my anticipation mounted. I kept checking with local bookstores to ask if Peace, Love & Healing was out yet. One day, I was strolling by the WaldenBooks in Knollwood Mall near my home so I stopped in. Woo hoo! There was Bernie’s book on the front display shelf.

I excitedly but methodically went through it page by page looking for my masterpiece. Finally, on page 250, I spotted it! A huge smile broke across my face . . . only to be replaced an instant later with an expression of abject horror. In the intro to Our Daughter’s Eyes, Bernie noted that my wife had died six years ago! Oh, my God, I thought. Kate is going to kill me!

Indeed, Kate had told me that I should alert Bernie that Our Daughter’s Eyes was fictional, but I dismissed her concerns, thinking that such a caveat was unnecessary. Well, she was right. I was wrong. And, how should I say this . . . she was displeased.

About a year later, Bernie came to Minneapolis to speak, and Kate and I went to see him. After his lecture, I brought Kate up to the stage and introduced her: “See,” I told Bernie. “She’s not dead!” Today, happily, Kate finds the whole incident rather amusing, referring to Peace, Love & Healing as “the book I died in.” And this year, things came full circle as Bernie contributed a story to my book, Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything.

So that’s the story. And this is Our Daughter’s Eyes:


At three in the morning, without any warning,
You slipped into my dreams.
I awoke with a start and I felt that my heart
Was coming apart at the seams.

I switched on the light and paced the rest of the night,
It’s been months since I’ve been able to rest.
It’s been such a strain, I still don’t feel the pain,
But there’s a fire raging deep within my chest.

I watched all our plans slip right through my hands,
Though I clenched them tight and tried my best to pray.
I sat by your side and we laughed till I cried,
And you told me I’d find someone else someday.

And oh, how you smiled when you spoke of our child,
Though your voice was weak and slow.
You wanted to hold her, asleep on your shoulder,
And never let her go.

And I remember the last time I held you close
And whispered a silent prayer,
You held my face in your trembling hands,
And gently stroked my hair.

And you said, “Look for me in our daughter’s eyes,
And you will find me there.
I never will leave you, so honey, don’t grieve,
It’s more than I can bear.
And I thank God for our time together
And the joy you brought to my life.”
And then you closed your eyes and I whispered, “Goodbye,”
My best friend, my woman, my wife.

Well, last night, our daughter said her prayers and climbed into her bed,
She lay down on her pillow and then slowly turned her head,
I gazed into her face as you came climbing through her eyes,
I felt a warm embrace like a breeze from summer skies.
My disbelief gave way to grief, I brushed away a tear,
And then I heard you softly singing, rich and crisp and clear.
You poured your music on my soul, it blossomed like a rose,
Those gaping wounds of empty rooms began to heal and close.
And when at last your music passed, and your caress was gone,
I sat quite still, not moving until I heard our daughter yawn.
I noticed that her blanket had been pulled up to her chin,
She smiled and said, “Good night, Daddy. Mommy tucked me in.”

And you said, “Look for me in our daughter’s eyes,
And you will find me there.
I never will leave you, so honey, don’t grieve,
It’s more than I can bear.
And I thank God for our time together,
And the joy you brought to my life.”
And then you closed your eyes and I kissed you goodbye,
My best friend, my woman, my wife.

Click here to view all my posts about parenting.

Click here to view all my posts featuring my original song lyrics.


Through God’s Eyes: Finding Peace and Purpose in a Troubled World, is a road map for living a more peaceful, beautiful life. It’s the one book that explains how dozens of spiritual principles interact, how to weave them together into a cohesive worldview, and how to practically apply this spiritual wisdom to daily life.

Who will benefit from reading Through God’s Eyes?
Anyone who is on a spiritual path, or wants to start one.
Anyone who loves life, or wants to learn how to.
Anyone who is happy, or wants to be happier.

Click here to order your copy of Through God’s Eyes from GodsEyesAmazon.com.
For an inscribed copy, click here to e-mail Phil for information.

Click on the link below to download a FREE 28-page chapter!

Click here to visit the Through God’s Eyes website.

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Here is a two-minute video introduction to Through God’s Eyes.

Like to learn more about Through God’s Eyes? Here is a free 44-page PDF sampler from the book that includes:

• an overview of the book
• the complete table of contents
• the Foreword by Caroline Myss
• my Introduction
• chapter excerpts
• a sample end-of-chapter story
• endorsements from authors and thought leaders

Just click on the link below to download your free PDF sampler!

Schedule a Mastery Mentoring phone session with Phil to learn how to apply principles of spiritual living more effortlessly and effectively. Priced affordably! Click here to e-mail Phil for details.


Phil’s eBook, The Logic of Living a Spiritual Life: Supporting a Life of Faith Through Logic and Reason, is now available for 99 cents.

Order it at GodIsLogical.com.

In this eBook, you’ll find answers to questions like:
• What is the cornerstone of a spiritual life, and why?
• What is the secret to liberating yourself from other people’s judgments and expectations?
• How do you reconcile the “free will vs. Divine Will” conundrum?
• Why is there an exception to “Everything happens for a reason”?

Those who worship logic instead of God are only half right. Not only is it logical to believe in God and to live a faith-based life, the existence of a loving, benevolent God that governs all creation is perhaps the only systematic worldview that explains every aspect of life.

SiSe_fullcover_final.inddPhil is also the author of Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything, a collection of 45 inspiring, life-changing stories from prominent authors and thought leaders he interviewed. The roster of storytellers includes Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Neale Donald Walsch, Caroline Myss, Larry Dossey, Rachel Naomi Remen, Bernie Siegel, Dean Ornish, and Christiane Northrup. Sixty Seconds has been translated into four languages: Italian, German, Spanish, and Portuguese. Reading this book is like spending a few minutes face to face with each of the contributors and listening to their personal stories.

Click here to order Sixty Seconds.

Click here to read unsolicited testimonials from readers.

Learn more by visiting the official Sixty Seconds website.

Here is a three-minute video introduction to Sixty Seconds.

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5 Responses to “Our Daughter’s Eyes”

  1. Kelly Says:

    Oh, Phil… how this made me “tear up” – “25” years ago when Erin was “3” (?)… well, now it simply made me cry (if one can cry and be smiley-happy at the same time).

    This prose you wrote all those years ago has always stuck with me and made me think about people, those who matter most to me… and others who will, or might. And now, when I look into their eyes I really LOOK… and I think I hold the sight of them more precious than before I read this because of you… thanks for that…


    p.s. Dang, you go Boy, you know how to relate…

    p.p.s. I remember the shock and awe when we realized Kate didn’t know how far “gone” she was… :)

  2. Phil Bolsta Says:

    I couldn’t ask for anything more, Kelly. I am grateful for your words and for being such a wonderful friend to my family.


  3. Recent Links Tagged With "daughter" - JabberTags Says:

    […] public links >> daughter Home Coming? Saved by ItachiUchiha27 on Mon 20-10-2008 Our Daughter’s Eyes Saved by alvaroguim on Sun 19-10-2008 A mother’s BE adventures Saved by jecharri on Thu […]

  4. Martha (TAZ31263) on twitter Says:

    what a wonderful story. I know I have so many memories of each of my children over the years, and now my grandchildren. Thank you for sharing the most Beautiful song.
    Your writings are Fantastic and Inspiring.

  5. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Thank you for the kinds words, Martha. I’m glad you are enjoying your grandcubs. I look forward to having some soon too!

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