Tell Me How You Feel!

two-guys-talking-in-coffeeshopI recently asked a friend in a restaurant how he was coping with the end of his marriage. He shrugged and said he didn’t know what to say. Thinking I wasn’t being clear, I asked how he was feeling. To my astonishment, he said he doesn’t talk about his feelings. We blinked at each other across the table for a few awkward moments before I clumsily tried to change the subject to something more superficial.

He’s not the only guy (or gal) I’ve encountered who keeps his feelings to himself. Frankly, I just don’t understand that. Then again, I’m at the point in my life where I don’t like to waste time with small talk; I like to make deep connections with people and establish emotionally intimate relationships right off the bat.

I understand that people who have been hurt or traumatized guard against opening up to others for fear of being hurt again. I find that incredibly sad. Energetically speaking, they are dooming themselves to a vicious cycle of fearing and expecting—and hence unconsciously manifesting—the worst from people.

After all, the state of your reality is a reflection of your state of mind, which is determined by the quality of your thoughts. If you do not control your thoughts, they will control you.

You may believe that the world is menacing and chaotic, that no one can be trusted, that life is an endless series of bad breaks and hard knocks. After all, rare is the person who has not been bullied at school, fired from a job, or felt rejected and even humiliated by a member of the opposite sex.

Or, you may trust that the universe is benevolent and orderly, that most people are compassionate and good-hearted, that every day offers countless opportunities to celebrate life and extend kindness to others.

Each of these outlooks will attract the people, situations, and events that reinforce the worldview of the person doing the attracting. What’s more each occurrence will strengthen that person’s beliefs, thereby attracting even more “proof” that the way they perceive the world is the way the world actually is.

Their core beliefs will always be perpetuated because people tend to “see” only what they believe or what they can make sense of. Indeed, when two people with opposing viewpoints witness the same event, they will interpret it in opposite ways to make it fit their preconceived notions.

Who you are and how you see the world determine what you attract. Maintain a loving, positive attitude, and you will act as a magnet to draw loving, positive people and experiences into your life.

The same principle applies to negative mindsets. Throw mental daggers at your boss and you will continue to be the target of his fault-finding missions, never imagining for a moment that you are contributing mightily to your own misery.

This universal law is at work in your own life whether or not you are conscious of it. Every thought, every choice, has consequences. Ultimately, the only thing standing between you and a brighter future is your very next thought.

A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person
lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror.

                                               Ken Keyes, Jr.






ABOUT PHIL BOLSTA

Phil is the author of Through God’s Eyes: Finding Peace and Purpose in a Troubled World, a comprehensive guide to living a spiritual life. Who will benefit from reading it?

Anyone who is on a spiritual path, or wants to start one
Anyone who loves life, or wants to learn how to
Anyone who is happy, or wants to be happier

To order your copy of Through God’s Eyes, go to GodsEyesOrder.com OR order from Amazon at GodsEyesAmazon.com OR for an inscribed copy, click here to e-mail Phil for information.

Click here for more information about Through God’s Eyes.
Click here to ask Phil to add you to his e-mail list for updates on his blog and books.

Through God’s Eyes won first place in the “Spirituality and Inspirational” category at the San Diego Book Awards on June 22, 2013.

Here is a two-minute video introduction to Through God’s Eyes.




Want to learn more about Through God’s Eyes? Here is a free 40-page PDF sampler from the book that includes:

• an overview of the book
• the complete table of contents
• the Foreword by Caroline Myss
• my Introduction
• chapter excerpts
• a sample end-of-chapter story
• endorsements from authors and thought leaders

Just click on the link below to download your free PDF sampler!
THROUGH GOD’S EYES PDF SAMPLER





logic-of-living-a-spiritual-life-book-cover

Phil’s eBook, The Logic of Living a Spiritual Life: Supporting a Life of Faith Through Logic and Reason, is now available for 99 cents on Amazon.

Order it at GodIsLogical.com.

In this eBook, you’ll find answers to questions like:
• What is the cornerstone of a spiritual life, and why?
• What is the secret to liberating yourself from other people’s judgments and expectations?
• Why is there an exception to “Everything happens for a reason”?


Those who worship logic instead of God are only half right. Not only is it logical to believe in God and to live a faith-based life, the existence of a loving, benevolent God that governs all creation is perhaps the only systematic worldview that explains every aspect of life.




Schedule a Mastery Mentoring phone session with Phil to learn how to apply principles of spiritual living more effortlessly and effectively. Priced affordably! Click here to e-mail Phil for details.



SiSe_fullcover_final.inddPhil is also the author of Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything, a collection of 45 inspiring, life-changing stories from prominent people he interviewed, including Joan Borysenko, Deepak Chopra, geneticist Dr. Francis Collins, acclaimed sportswriter Frank Deford, Dr. Larry Dossey, Wayne Dyer, Dan Millman, Caroline Myss, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Dr. Dean Ornish, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, Dr. Bernie Siegel, James Van Praagh, singer Billy Vera, Doreen Virtue, Neale Donald Walsch, and bassist Victor Wooten.

Here is a three-minute video that introduces you to Phil and his book. Click here to order Sixty Seconds. Click here to ask Phil to add you to his e-mail list for updates on his blog and books.

Reading this book is like spending a few minutes face to face with each of the contributors and listening to their personal stories. Click here to read unsolicited testimonials from readers. Learn more by visiting the official Sixty Seconds website.

Sixty Seconds was one of three finalists in the General Interest/How-To category at the 12th annual Visionary Awards presented by COVR (Coalition of Visionary Resources) in Denver on June 27, 2009.

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2 Responses to “Tell Me How You Feel!”

  1. Rhonda Says:

    Ken,
    I love the way you think. I feel just like you, I just haven’t been able to express it just this way.

    Rhonda

  2. Phil Bolsta Says:

    I’m glad I could put words to your feelings, Rhonda. It’s nice to connect with people who you feel you resonate with.

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