How One Mother Transcended Her Grief


Liz Wencl

On September 20, 2003, Kim Wencl‘s worst nightmare came true: her twenty-year-old daughter, Liz, a sophomore at the University of Minnesota, died of smoke inhalation from an early morning fire at the Dinkytown duplex where she lived just a few blocks from the U. Two of her roommates also perished.

Kim left the comment below on my post about the Awareness Release Technique. I’ve gotten to know Kim over the last couple months and I am astonished at how courageously she has coped with her unimaginable loss.

messages_from_beyond_cover1Kim wrote about her story in the book True Stories of Messages From Beyond by Julie Aydlott and Friends.

Two years after Liz died, Kim received a very special letter from her daughter. Click here to read about that incredible experience.

Kim granted permission for me to share her story in this way. I believe that Kim’s words will be of great comfort and inspiration to others who are dealing with loss of any kind.

Reading your blog entry today on Awareness Relief Technique has made me realize that I unknowingly used that technique when dealing with the intense grief over the death of my 20 yr old daughter Liz. It defiintely works! You have to feel the pain and acknowledge it before it will leave. That’s why people who just “suck it up” or choose to “soldier through” after a tramatic event in their lives will have issues with those emotions and feelings for the rest of their lives — or until they are forced or choose to go back and re-live them and actually feel the pain and then let it go.

A large part of my healing actually came about because I wrote about it. That happened after much struggle, finally throwing in the towel and telling God that he would have to show me, because I just couldn’t do it anymore. A few days later I literally heard a voice in my head say, “You need to write — and maybe, you will even write a book! It stopped me in my tracks and I thought long and hard. But it didn’t take very long before I realized … writing was God’s answer to the angst I had. I began to write that very day and I wrote all weekend. It was very painful to relive it all and write about … but once I did I could let it all go. When I finished I felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders, and it became a very healing event.

Two years later my writing really did become part of a book … now my writing goes beyond me and it’s there for others to read, learn from and move thru their own pain. The intricacies of God’s work among people continues to astound me and it is a high like no other when you can see in your own life how God has used you to help others.

Something else that happens whenever we have a tramatic event in our lives is that it literally changes our DNA … our cells are forever altered … and the tramatic event is imprinted in each and every cell in our body. You heal (or not) and you move on … but every once in a while seemingly unrelating events will trigger the intense emotions and even physical symptoms of previous traumas.

An example of this in my own life was last summer’s 35W bridge collapse. I was glued to the TV and the more I watched the worse I felt. I had intense feelings of panic, sadness, fatigue and deep grief. I kept telling myself to quit watching the TV coverage, but I couldn’t. After awhile I realized that the intense feelings and physical reactions I was experiencing were the exact same feelings I had when I learned my daughter had died. I was once again reliving that tramatic event in my life … even though it was 4 years later, and the bridge collapse had seemingly nothing in common with the events of Liz’s death … my feelings, both emotional and physical, were the same.

Once I figured out what was really going on, I began to move through all of the feelings and physical reactions and forced myself to feel them to the Nth degree. When I did that they all left one by one, and after a day or two I was better and once again felt “normal.” It became yet another learning experience for me.

I share these experiences with you now in case anyone else who reads this may have had a similar experience and perhaps this may be of help to them.


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2 Responses to “How One Mother Transcended Her Grief”

  1. Rev. Juliet Nightingale Says:

    Kimberly Wencl was my special guest on Toward The Light Radio Show on Sunday, 28 September 2008 and what a powerful dialogue it was indeed! She being so open to receiving input from her precious daughter via her ADCs (after death communications) has made things so much easier for her and others who love Liz so dearly. As we start to realise that death is really an illusion and that we can still be in communion with those we love who’ve transitioned, this knowledge has removed much of the sting of this apparent loss … and that’s the whole point. Liz just moved into a higher frequency range, that’s all, but is still obviously very much in tact! In fact, I was picking up on her whilst on the air and described her perfectly! :)

    If you’d like to listen to the archived show with Kimberly, please go to I can assure you that you’ll be truly inspired by listening to this show. And, indeed, much gratitude to Kim for sharing her precious story with the world. :)

  2. A Letter From Liz « Triumph of the Spirit Says:

    […] A Letter From Liz By Phil Bolsta On September 20, 2003,Kim Wencl‘s worst nightmare came true—her 20-year-old daughter, Liz, a sophomore at the University of Minnesota, died of smoke inhalation from an early morning fire at the Dinkytown duplex where she lived just a few blocks from the U. Two of her roommates also perished. Kim shared her healing journey with me in a previous post. […]

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