On September 20, 2003, Kim Wencl‘s worst nightmare came true: her twenty-year-old daughter, Liz, a sophomore at the University of Minnesota, died of smoke inhalation from an early morning fire at the Dinkytown duplex where she lived just a few blocks from the U. Two of her roommates also perished.
Kim left the comment below on my post about the Awareness Release Technique. I’ve gotten to know Kim over the last couple months and I am astonished at how courageously she has coped with her unimaginable loss.
Kim wrote about her story in the book True Stories of Messages From Beyond by Julie Aydlott and Friends.
Two years after Liz died, Kim received a very special letter from her daughter. Click here to read about that incredible experience.
Kim granted permission for me to share her story in this way. I believe that Kim’s words will be of great comfort and inspiration to others who are dealing with loss of any kind.
Reading your blog entry today on Awareness Relief Technique has made me realize that I unknowingly used that technique when dealing with the intense grief over the death of my 20 yr old daughter Liz. It defiintely works! You have to feel the pain and acknowledge it before it will leave. That’s why people who just “suck it up” or choose to “soldier through” after a tramatic event in their lives will have issues with those emotions and feelings for the rest of their lives — or until they are forced or choose to go back and re-live them and actually feel the pain and then let it go.
A large part of my healing actually came about because I wrote about it. That happened after much struggle, finally throwing in the towel and telling God that he would have to show me, because I just couldn’t do it anymore. A few days later I literally heard a voice in my head say, “You need to write — and maybe, you will even write a book! It stopped me in my tracks and I thought long and hard. But it didn’t take very long before I realized … writing was God’s answer to the angst I had. I began to write that very day and I wrote all weekend. It was very painful to relive it all and write about … but once I did I could let it all go. When I finished I felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders, and it became a very healing event.
Two years later my writing really did become part of a book … now my writing goes beyond me and it’s there for others to read, learn from and move thru their own pain. The intricacies of God’s work among people continues to astound me and it is a high like no other when you can see in your own life how God has used you to help others.
Something else that happens whenever we have a tramatic event in our lives is that it literally changes our DNA … our cells are forever altered … and the tramatic event is imprinted in each and every cell in our body. You heal (or not) and you move on … but every once in a while seemingly unrelating events will trigger the intense emotions and even physical symptoms of previous traumas.
An example of this in my own life was last summer’s 35W bridge collapse. I was glued to the TV and the more I watched the worse I felt. I had intense feelings of panic, sadness, fatigue and deep grief. I kept telling myself to quit watching the TV coverage, but I couldn’t. After awhile I realized that the intense feelings and physical reactions I was experiencing were the exact same feelings I had when I learned my daughter had died. I was once again reliving that tramatic event in my life … even though it was 4 years later, and the bridge collapse had seemingly nothing in common with the events of Liz’s death … my feelings, both emotional and physical, were the same.
Once I figured out what was really going on, I began to move through all of the feelings and physical reactions and forced myself to feel them to the Nth degree. When I did that they all left one by one, and after a day or two I was better and once again felt “normal.” It became yet another learning experience for me.
I share these experiences with you now in case anyone else who reads this may have had a similar experience and perhaps this may be of help to them.
ABOUT PHIL BOLSTA
Through God’s Eyes: Finding Peace and Purpose in a Troubled World, is a road map for living a more peaceful, beautiful life. It’s the one book that explains how dozens of spiritual principles interact, how to weave them together into a cohesive worldview, and how to practically apply this spiritual wisdom to daily life.
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