I conducted this interview with Dr. Ibrahim Jaffe shortly after attending his 1998 weekend workshop, which was truly life-changing. Ibrahim’s love and wisdom resonated deeply within me and I have learned much from him, including the Awareness Release Technique, a powerful method to achieve deep and lasting healing.
We have kept in touch over the years and, in fact, I interviewed him for my book, Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything. In that story, he recounts how he redirected his healing path after witnessing a deathbed ritual involving three rabbis and a cage filled with doves.
Ibrahim Jaffe, M.D., a licensed medical doctor, clairvoyant, healer and spiritual teacher, co-founded what is now the University of Spiritual Healing & Sufism in 1988. . In this interview, Dr. Jaffe explains how Divine Marriage can transform an ordinary relationship into a divine vessel of God realization.
What exactly is a Divine Marriage?
A Divine Marriage has been blessed by God and is a vehicle for the complete merging, spiritual evolvement and ascension of both partners. It is a deep bonding of love and commitment that is the foundation for peace which will extend to our families, others and to the world at large.
Why is there a need for Divine Marriage?
Most people have never learned how to contain and respect their beloved in a holy way. As a result, most marriages last less than seven years in this society. Many hearts are being broken, those of the beloved partners as well as their children’s. And sadly, those wounds can never be completely healed.
So divorce may not be the only option in a deteriorating marriage?
No. People often divorce because they can see no other solution to their problems. Divine Marriage offers other solutions and teaches people in a practical way how to be with each other, how to respect one another, and how to be in a divine love with each other as opposed to a human love.
What is the difference between a divine love and a human love?
The human love is about, “What can I get out of you or the relationship?” The divine love is the opposite. It’s about, “What can I give to you? What do you need, my love?” This is a whole different way of relating to each other which is completely foreign to most people.
How can striving for divine love make a difference in my marriage?
By giving you the experience of how to truly be with each other in a divine way. This can only occur through being in the deep heart with each other. When we live in the outer heart, we are very much into defending ourselves, being “right” and blaming the other. That approach leads to revenge, aggression and hurt. Instead, come from your inner heart, which is where hope resides. What we feel through the inner heart, the deeper heart, is mercy, compassion, understanding and unconditional love. Only then are we able to see the other for who they truly are, not how we want to see them.
Does Divine Marriage begin with inviting God into the relationship?
Yes. Think of a relationship as a drop that has been separated from the ocean of love from which it originated. The marriage must be centered in and revolve around the divine light of the holiness of God. This purity of light, radiating from the throne of God, must become the focal point of the love within the marriage. When two people gaze into each other’s eyes and witness God’s presence, a spark ignites.
Why is accepting the deep love of God into your life so important?
You must open to the deep love to know its peace. You must dissolve in it to discover its secrets. You must taste the deep love to heal your life and to see with great clarity that we are all one with God.
What is the next thing couples must do to deepen their relationship?
Surrender to each other. As each partner learns how to give completely to the other, holding nothing back, the heart begins to glow like a flame. When you surrender to your beloved, not only do they become your best friend, they are also the doorway for you to reach God.
How does surrendering to your beloved lead you to God?
They become you, you become them and you actually become one with each other. You take on their mind qualities, they take on your mind qualities. You take on their heart qualities, they take on your heart qualities. Everything changes. The minds become one, the hearts become one, the bodies become one. And then, if they continue to walk deeply, the souls become one. And finally, if they walk deeply enough, their souls disappear into each other and they become one with God.
So you start by surrendering to God and end by surrendering to God. Isn’t that a paradox?
No, not at all. Life is a circular journey that begins, exists and ends with complete immersion in the deep love of God. You need only expand your awareness to see the truth of that statement. The past, present and future are one. There is only one moment and that moment is at all times bathed in the loving consciousness of God.
So it all boils down to making a commitment?
Yes, commitment is the foundation for every marriage and even more so in a Divine Marriage. When you vow in front of God not to break each other’s heart, we further give the promise to become one mind, one heart, one body and one spirit. Through the sincerity in our hearts and God’s loving guidance, the different levels of our beings begin to merge with each other into deeper and deeper levels of oneness.
Doesn’t a couple also have to work at resolving personality differences?
Not necessarily. Certainly, most teachings about relationship focus on adjusting personalities so that the partners can relate to each other and get along. But when two hearts come together in the unity of Divine Marriage, they enter each other and move through each other to reach God realization. At that point, there will be such a deep and beautiful surrender between them that most, if not all, of the personality issues will cease to be relevant.
Still, there are challenges to be faced, especially at the beginning of a relationship.
Yes, and the first challenge is learning containment, which is the ability to hold the other in love regardless of the state they’re in. As two people get to know each other, they discover qualities about each other that they don’t like. When one of them is expressing such a quality and the other fails to transcend the situation and contain them in unconditional love, pain occurs. Any quality that creates pain needs to be resolved.
How can such conflicts be resolved?
Through deep honesty, continual communication and through putting your trust completely in God. Working on such challenges on a personality level can definitely produce positive results but deepening your surrender to each other and to God can melt the pain and restore harmony in the relationship more quickly and effectively.
How can a single person prepare themselves to be in a relationship with a beloved?
It begins with prayer. A good example is, “My beloved God, I ask you to bring to me my perfect beloved, who can contain me in everything and give me all that I need.” I recommend repeating that prayer very deeply at least once a day and perhaps making an offering as well. The next step is to ask, “My beloved God, please show me what it is in myself that is keeping me from having a relationship with my beloved.”
What can someone expect from such a prayer?
Often, you will begin to get pictures of either yourself or your past that you will need to cleanse, correct and make right. Or nothing will happen internally and God will simply put those things in front of you so that you are forced to deal with what you don’t want to see. For example, if you have unsettled issues with your mother, He may bring to you somebody who is like your mother to give you the opportunity to work those issues out.
Do you have to be aligned with any religion or spiritual path to work toward Divine Marriage?
No. It is available to anyone who yearns to drink from the deep love. It doesn’t matter what religion you are. All that matters is your yearning for the love. Divine Marriage is about letting go of separation and entering into the realm of unity through the heart of the beloved.
Click here to view all my posts about Ibrahim Jaffe.
ABOUT PHIL BOLSTA
Through God’s Eyes: Finding Peace and Purpose in a Troubled World, is a road map for living a more peaceful, beautiful life. It’s the one book that explains how dozens of spiritual principles interact, how to weave them together into a cohesive worldview, and how to practically apply this spiritual wisdom to daily life.
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