Rewrite Your Story Through Forgiveness

white-dove-forgivenessForgiveness is ultimately a selfish act, requiring you to free your imprisoned spirit and reclaim your power. If you do not forgive, you are bound to the person who injured you as surely as if you were handcuffed to him.

Forgiveness is ultimately a selfless act, requiring you to look through God’s eyes and not your own. Then, instead of judging others, you will be adding much-needed loving energy to the collective consciousness.

“Forgiveness” is a loaded word that may anger those who have endured great wrongs. Indeed, anyone with an ounce of empathy can appreciate how difficult it must be to forgive the unforgivable.

Substituting the word “release” for “forgiveness” short-circuits the emotional charge and reframes the act as a blessing that the injured party bestows on herself rather than one bestowed on her antagonist.

The moment you forgive, you reinvent yourself. Your psyche is flooded with light, forever dispelling the darkness that had emotionally crippled you.

Instead of identifying yourself by past injuries and injustices, you are free to rewrite the story of who you are and who you wish to be.

There is nothing that in the end, cannot be forgiven, but there remains much that is inexcusable.

Click here to view all my forgiveness-related posts.


Through God’s Eyes: Finding Peace and Purpose in a Troubled World, is a road map for living a more peaceful, beautiful life. It’s the one book that explains how dozens of spiritual principles interact, how to weave them together into a cohesive worldview, and how to practically apply this spiritual wisdom to daily life.

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Anyone who is on a spiritual path, or wants to start one.
Anyone who loves life, or wants to learn how to.
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6 Responses to “Rewrite Your Story Through Forgiveness”

  1. Kim Wencl Says:

    I just finished reading the book entitled, “The Shack.” It is a WONDERFUL book that deals with this very issue of forgiveness. I highly recommend it as a “must read.”

  2. Phil Bolsta Says:

    I’ve heard good things about “The Shack,” Kim. Thanks.

  3. Marlene M. Linke Says:

    Hi Phil, I just happened to stumble on this post while reading one of the post links you provided yesterday. Thank you so much for this perspective. I recently wrote a comment on a discussion thread regarding forgiveness: My father molested me as a child and was a very sick and perverse human being who fooled everyone by portraying himself as the ultimate in catholic piety:

    “I transformed my wounds by fervently searching for and fostering an unbelievably healthy connection with God in a manner that is glorious and magnificent. I don’t think my faith would be as strong had I not experienced the senseless false virtue of my parents. I have not allowed what happened to me to change who God meant me to be: a loving caring, deeply empathetic and mentally whole person. This is my triumph; this is how I have ascended out of what could have been a lifetime of dysfunction and bitterness. In lieu of forgiveness I have chosen transformation as my path to peace.”

    In your ultimate wisdom, would you add transformation (or transmutation) to what is considered a path to peace in lieu of the act of forgiving the unforgivable? Here is the link to the original discussion thread for the whole story:

  4. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Marlene, I am astonished and humbled by your ability and desire to transcend such horrific circumstances by becoming an ambassador of God’s love. Yes, forgiveness transforms and heals us and makes our broken places stronger than they ever were before.

    That said, those words are largely theory to me since I have not personally experienced “the unforgivable.” It is people like you who have endured and transcended the evils of what we humans are capable of doing to each other that bring these words to life.

    Bless you for choosing the path of forgiveness and love, and for inspiring others to follow your courageous example.

  5. Sarah Moran Says:

    This is a really important topic, I’m glad you’ve written so much on it.

    I’m curious if you have any thoughts or suggestions for this scenario: What if you have worked hard to forgive someone and really feel you let it go, but they continue to run across your thoughts and pop into your mind more often than you’d like or more often than, it seems, other people do?

    Is there more work that needs to be done mentally and spiritually? Is it just a bad habit of the mind, and if so is there a way to break it? Might it just ease as time passes? I’m sure it all depends on the circumstance and person, but just wondering if any thoughts come to your mind…Thanks!

  6. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Hi, Sarah. Forgiving and forgetting are two separate things. In my view, the only way to get beyond both is to arrive at an understanding that all things happen for a reason and that we co-create whatever finds its way into our life. When you truly and deeply come to this understanding, then you see your own part and God’s part in what happened and quite acceptance renders forgiveness almost irrelevant. This is a Cliff Notes version, of course. In essence, the more one grows spiritually, the more that forgiveness becomes moot.

    Hope this helps somewhat. There’s lots more to it, of course.

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