Even Failed Relationships Are Successful

couple-sitting-down-ending-a-relationshipLove is not always enough to sustain a relationship. Such is life. People change; desires change. Sometimes hearts are broken and there is nothing to be done except express gratitude for the gift you were given and move on.

Just because a relationship ends does not mean the whole relationship was a failure. Each relationship showers us with gifts. For example, joining our heart with another’s allows us to express and experience our deepest desires for emotional and physical intimacy.

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north
wind lays waste the garden.

Kahlil Gibran

Every relationship, no matter how long it lasts, expands our self-awareness and clarifies what we do and do not desire in a partner.

Whether you leave a relationship feeling relief or heartache, you are presented with a tremendous opportunity for growth and renewal. With fresh insight, you can take yourself apart then put yourself together in a new and better way.

Indeed, heeding the call of your heart in a healthy way always leads to positive repercussions, even when it may appear otherwise.

Sometimes with one I love I fill myself with rage for fear
I effuse unreturned love,
But now I think there is no unreturned love.
The pay is certain, one way or another.
(I loved a person ardently, and my love was not returned,
Yet out of that I have written these songs.)

Walt Whitman

Step out of your emotions as best you can and challenge yourself to interpret the relationship with symbolic sight. Not only will you gain clarity about why things unfolded as they did, but also about what you want the rest of your life to look like.

Do not allow the fear of heartbreak to stop you from pledging your love to another. By protecting your heart, you may end up losing it.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.
C. S. Lewis

Trust in God and dive headlong into the ocean of romantic love. The waters may be choppy from time to time, but an exhilarating world of unimaginable beauty awaits.

To cheat oneself out of love is the most terrible deception;
it is an eternal loss for which there is no reparation, either
in time or in eternity.

Soren Kierkegaard


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4 Responses to “Even Failed Relationships Are Successful”

  1. Sibyl Says:

    Great post and great alternaview. It is so easy to get caught up in issues of a relationship and think you haven’t gotten anything out of a relationship that went south. I know I have forgotten about the bigger picture and the lessons within. My favorite part of the post: “With fresh insight, you can take yourself apart then put yourself together in a new and better way.” Thanks for the reminder and the alternaview.

  2. Phil Bolsta Says:

    You’re very welcome, Sibyl! Glad you found it meaningful.

  3. maria elena Says:

    would be great then to read your book soon Phil.
    how much is it then?
    hmmmmmm, better save for that.

  4. Phil Bolsta Says:

    I appreciate that very much, Maria Elena! I look forward to your comments about it!

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