Out of the Mouths of Babes!


Jim and Emily

My longtime  friend Jim Barry just sent me an e-mail. He said he signed up for a free dating website and when Judy, an attractive woman, put him on her favorites list, he contacted her. They went out for coffee and Judy told him about a fundraiser that Jim’s ten-year-old daughter Emily might enjoy. Jim will be seeing Judy again this weekend. After he told all this to Emily and she met Judy, her response was, “There must be a lot of guys who want to date her. Why did she want to go out with you?” Ouch!

Unfortunately, I can relate. When my daughter Erin was nine, I was sitting on her bed yapping before tucking her in. I mentioned that I only had two girlfriends before I met her mom and that neither one lasted more than a week. Erin thought that was pretty abnormal. She asked me, “Did people just hate you ‘cause you were ugly or they just didn’t like you?” Ouch!


Erin and me

I e-mailed the above anecdote to Jim and he responded with another Emily classic. When she was three and had just seen Cinderella for the first time, she took one of her toy wands, waved it at her dad and said, “Bippety-boppity-boo, I’m going to turn you into a handsome guy.” Once again, ouch!

And once again, I can relate. One night when Erin was seven, we were all watching Magnum P.I. My wife Kate was swooning over Tom Selleck and I asked Erin if she thought I was as handsome as Magnum. She paused, trying to figure out how to be as diplomatic as possible, and finally said, “No, but I like you better.” Well, at least I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.

Click here for more priceless bon mots from my lil’ bear cub!

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14 Responses to “Out of the Mouths of Babes!”

  1. Sandy Garcia Says:

    I am so touched that you wrote about Jim and Emily. You have provided a wonderful gift for them both and I’m looking forward to seeing how Emily uses the picture you posted of her and her dad (classic!) and your story in one of her scrapbooks. Thank you for sharing your talent! Sandy

  2. Phil Bolsta Says:

    It’s my pleasure, Sandy! I had fun doing it. Jim sent me an e-mail with that first story and it just unfolded from there! I had fun imagining Emily’s reaction to seeing it! I have people from all over the world reading my blog so Emily is now an international star!

  3. Erin Says:

    Sorry Dad! :)

  4. Phil Bolsta Says:

    No apology necessary, sweet the heart! I always encouraged you to speak your mind honestly!

  5. Kim Battern Says:

    This is so funny. Thanks for the laughs. Kids can be so brutally honest. My daughter once asked a clerk at the grocery store, “Are you a boy or a girl?”

  6. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Yep, kids sure have a talent for making us cringe! Thanks, Kim!

  7. Laura Bruce Says:

    HA! Cute blog. :-) That *totally* sounds like Erin! Although, I’m glad she hasn’t used that, “Did people just hate you ‘cause you were ugly or they just didn’t like you?” line on me. Hehe! Yeah, ouch! By the way, that’s a very cute picture of both of you. It’s kinda weird to see you with hair, though! ;-)

  8. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Yes, Erin has learned to be a bit more discreet! And yes, I used to be a hairy beast! Thanks, Laura!

  9. Kate Says:

    Those girl quotes are hilarious – both Emily’s & Erin’s. I’m pretty sure Erin still likes you more than she does Tom Selleck.

  10. Phil Bolsta Says:

    I sure hope so!

  11. Jim Barry Says:

    I forgot one important story. When Emily was about 5 we were talking about nicknames and how my name is really James but everyone calls me Jim. She said I looked more like a Jim than a James. When asked what a Jim looked like she said “A big building where people go to exercise.” I’ve lost about 30 pounds since then.

  12. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Emily has a bright future as a stand-up comic, Jim!

  13. Jess Mesich Says:

    These made me happy & laugh out loud. Thank you for sharing!

  14. Phil Bolsta Says:

    You bet, Jess! Hope you like your Uncle Phil better than Tom Selleck too!

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