Be Kind to Yourself

Not long ago, I shared a table at the raw food restaurant I frequent with a handful of friends, one of whom was a woman who was relatively new to the concept of a raw food diet. After hearing some of our stories, she enthusiastically announced that she was going to go 100 percent raw the very next day. Gently, I told her that going raw was not as simple as it sounded, that it typically took two to three years to make the transition, and that she was setting herself up for certain failure.

I bet you can relate to that woman. Who among us hasn’t excitedly started an exercise program, changed our diet, started a spiritual path or leapt into any other self-improvement effort with high hopes and stars in our eyes? And who among us hasn’t raised the white flag after a few days, a few weeks or a few months and slunk away defeated and disappointed in ourselves?

The pattern is always the same. You get great results when you start working out or eating better or meditating regularly and then . . . you sleep in one morning and skip the gym, or a friend bakes your favorite pie just for you, or responsibilities at work and home fill up your day. Then that one day away from the gym becomes a week, or you decide that a little chocolate couldn’t possibly hurt, or your promise to get up earlier to meditate falls prey to the snooze alarm.

Whatever life-improvement regimen you are about to embark upon, please, please, please do not hold yourself to a standard of perfection. If you do, you will fail. It is that simple. Unrealistic expectations produce predictable outcomes.

When you do take a step back—and you will—recognize that backsliding is part of the process. Don’t beat yourself up, just gather your resolve and start again the next moment, the next day or as soon as you can. And days, weeks or months later, when you take another step back—and you will—treat that lapse (and all the lapses to come) the same way.

Be kind to yourself and take all the time you need to gradually make better and healthier choices. When you do take a detour, enjoy the scenery. And know that every time you stumble, the odds of taking another misstep diminish ever so slightly in terms of both frequency and severity.

It may take years to develop the discipline and habits you expected to perfect on day one. But that’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay: it’s the way we humans work. And once you get to where you wanted to go, all that matters is that you got there.

Happy trails!






ABOUT PHIL BOLSTA

through-gods-eyes-book-cover
If you feel more stressed than blessed . . . if you have more confusion than clarity about how to live your beliefs . . . if you long to live a richer, happier, more meaningful life . . . you will find a wealth of insight and guidance in Through God’s Eyes: Finding Peace and Purpose in a Troubled World.

Through God’s Eyes is a road map for living a more peaceful, beautiful life. It’s the only book that explains how dozens of spiritual principles interact, how to weave them together into a cohesive worldview, and how to practically apply this spiritual wisdom to daily life.

Readers everywhere are discovering that when you challenge yourself to look through God’s eyes, the world around you changes, and so do you.

Who will benefit from reading Through God’s Eyes?
Anyone who is on a spiritual path, or wants to be.
Anyone who loves life, or wants to learn how to.
Anyone who is happy, or wants to be happier.


Click here to order your copy of Through God’s Eyes from GodsEyesAmazon.com.
For an inscribed copy, click here to e-mail Phil for information.

Click here to visit the Through God’s Eyes website.

Click on the link below to download a FREE 28-page chapter!
SEE EVERY MOMENT AS A GIFT

Click here to read endorsements from authors and thought leaders.

Click here to read unsolicited testimonials from readers.

Click here to ask Phil to add you to his e-mail list for updates on his blog and books.

Here is a two-minute video introduction to Through God’s Eyes.




Like to learn more about Through God’s Eyes? Here is a free 44-page PDF sampler from the book that includes:

• an overview of the book
• the complete table of contents
• the Foreword by Caroline Myss
• my Introduction
• chapter excerpts
• a sample end-of-chapter story
• endorsements from authors and thought leaders

Just click on the link below to download your free PDF sampler!
THROUGH GOD’S EYES PDF SAMPLER




Schedule a Mastery Mentoring phone session with Phil to learn how to apply principles of spiritual living more effortlessly and effectively. Priced affordably! Click here to e-mail Phil for details.



logic-of-living-a-spiritual-life-book-cover

Phil’s eBook, The Logic of Living a Spiritual Life: Supporting a Life of Faith Through Logic and Reason, is now available for 99 cents.

Order it at GodIsLogical.com.

In this eBook, you’ll find answers to questions like:
• What is the cornerstone of a spiritual life, and why?
• What is the secret to liberating yourself from other people’s judgments and expectations?
• How do you reconcile the “free will vs. Divine Will” conundrum?
• Why is there an exception to “Everything happens for a reason”?


Those who worship logic instead of God are only half right. Not only is it logical to believe in God and to live a faith-based life, the existence of a loving, benevolent God that governs all creation is perhaps the only systematic worldview that explains every aspect of life.



sixty-seconds-coverPhil is also the author of Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything, a collection of 45 inspiring, life-changing stories from prominent authors and thought leaders he interviewed. The roster of storytellers includes Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Neale Donald Walsch, Caroline Myss, Larry Dossey, Rachel Naomi Remen, Bernie Siegel, Dean Ornish, and Christiane Northrup. Sixty Seconds has been translated into four languages: Italian, German, Spanish, and Portuguese. Reading this book is like spending a few minutes face to face with each of the contributors and listening to their personal stories.

Click here to order Sixty Seconds.

Learn more by visiting the official Sixty Seconds website.

Click here to read unsolicited testimonials from readers.

Here is a three-minute video introduction to Sixty Seconds.





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4 Responses to “Be Kind to Yourself”

  1. Jackie Rose Says:

    Haha, I’ve doomed myself to failure so many times!

    In recent years, I’ve changed my attitude from I-have-to-and-will-do-this to I-am-curious-about-this-and-will-patiently-explore-it.

    Patience seems to be key for me. It also helps to treat new diets, practices or spiritual paths as something interesting that I can explore at my own pace, instead of something I put all of my faith into and expect my body/mind to conform to immediately.

    After meditating intensely a few weeks ago I said to myself, “Well, that was amazing. I’d really like to do it more often but lets see how it goes. If I get up tomorrow and go meditate, great, and if not, then maybe I need to find a different way to practice.” Then if I find that I am not meditating out of sheer willpower and miss it, I’ll look for a scheduled meditation class in my area or a community group to meet with to help maintain my motivation to practice.

    So far I’m doing well on my own!

    Thank you for this post. It was nice to read your encouragement for people in the middle of what can be, and usually is a frustrating process of making changes.

  2. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Sounds like you’ve come to a really good place regarding all this, Jackie Rose. Glad to hear it! Keep up the good work!

  3. Narinder Says:

    Great article. Thanks!

  4. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Glad you liked it. Thank you, Narinder!

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