Seeking a Soulmate

Finding the right romantic partner can calm your restless spirit and splash vibrant color over your black-and-white world.

Your ideal partner is patiently waiting until you learn to see and appreciate the beauty and perfection within yourself. Self-acceptance is a prerequisite to a healthy relationship. After all, if you do not love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?

We must be our own before we can be another’s.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your search for a beloved will be more successful if, instead of trying to find the right person, you try to be the right person. Prepare yourself in body, mind, and spirit to welcome your beloved. Prioritize honor and integrity and strive to become better in every aspect of life.

If you’d be loved, be worthy to be loved.

That Aha! moment comes when you recognize the difference between being self-centered and being centered in your self.

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.
Neale Donald Walsch

As you live more consciously, you naturally develop greater empathy, compassion, and self-awareness. The greater your self-knowledge, the greater the likelihood that you will attract a compatible, emotionally healthy partner.

Love is for people who know who they are.
Nathaniel Branden

Click here to learn why patience is often required in the search for your soulmate.


Phil is the author of Through God’s Eyes: Finding Peace and Purpose in a Troubled World, a comprehensive guide to living a spiritual life. Who will benefit from reading it?

Anyone who is on a spiritual path, or wants to start one
Anyone who loves life, or wants to learn how to
Anyone who is happy, or wants to be happier

To order your copy of Through God’s Eyes, go to OR order from Amazon at OR for an inscribed copy, click here to e-mail Phil for information.

Click here for more information about Through God’s Eyes.
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Here is a two-minute video introduction to Through God’s Eyes.

Want to learn more about Through God’s Eyes? Here is a free 40-page PDF sampler from the book that includes:

• an overview of the book
• the complete table of contents
• the Foreword by Caroline Myss
• my Introduction
• chapter excerpts
• a sample end-of-chapter story
• endorsements from authors and thought leaders

Just click on the link below to download your free PDF sampler!

Schedule a Mastery Mentoring phone session with Phil to learn how to apply principles of spiritual living more effortlessly and effectively. Priced affordably! Click here to e-mail Phil for details.

SiSe_fullcover_final.inddPhil is also the author of Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything, a collection of 45 inspiring, life-changing stories from prominent people he interviewed, including Joan Borysenko, Deepak Chopra, geneticist Dr. Francis Collins, acclaimed sportswriter Frank Deford, Dr. Larry Dossey, Wayne Dyer, Dan Millman, Caroline Myss, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Dr. Dean Ornish, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, Dr. Bernie Siegel, James Van Praagh, singer Billy Vera, Doreen Virtue, Neale Donald Walsch, and bassist Victor Wooten.

Here is a three-minute video that introduces you to Phil and his book. Click here to order Sixty Seconds. Click here to ask Phil to add you to his e-mail list for updates on his blog and books.

Reading this book is like spending a few minutes face to face with each of the contributors and listening to their personal stories. Click here to read unsolicited testimonials from readers. Learn more by visiting the official Sixty Seconds website.

Sixty Seconds was one of three finalists in the General Interest/How-To category at the 12th annual Visionary Awards presented by COVR (Coalition of Visionary Resources) in Denver on June 27, 2009.

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14 Responses to “Seeking a Soulmate”

  1. Prakash Says:

    Thx Phil, Nice post. It is a good summary, and a timely reminder, about how to be in relationships.

  2. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Thank you, Prakash. I hope others find it meaningful.

  3. ArrVee Says:

    these are true as well for discovering one’s kindred spirits, with whom true, meaningful and long-term friendships can blossom. These are our companions in our spiritual convoy in life, with whom we form symbiotic relationships and support nets, allowing each of us to spiritually flourish and realize our assigned missions in life.

  4. Phil Bolsta Says:

    True that, ArrVee. The more we step into who we are capable of becoming, the more that all of our relationships are taken to a higher level.

  5. two girls take on love Says:

    Hi Phil,
    I reaaally resonated with “instead of trying to find the right person, be the right person.” Human be-ing! Thanks! best~ Cynthia

  6. Phil Bolsta Says:

    You’re very welcome, Cynthia! Thanks for stopping by and saying hello!

  7. Samantha Says:

    this sounds like a great book… will have to check it out. thanks =)

  8. Phil Bolsta Says:

    I appreciate that, Samantha!

  9. mel Says:

    Mr. Phil Bolsta,

    I must admit I find it hard to appreciate myself. I always have inferiority complex, especialy with how I look.


  10. Phil Bolsta Says:

    You are not alone, Mel. What you are feeling is very, very common. The question is, What are you going to do about it? You obviously are not happy with the way your life is right now, so what do you have to lose by working on your self-esteem and other issues? You have the whole world to gain and the only thing you stand to lose is the life you lead right now, which you’re not happy with anyway.

  11. Shelton Says:

    This one is nice. You nailed it Phil. I was stuck on that line that says, “instead of trying to find the right person, you try to be the right person”. I find it rather perfect definition in your search for love. And it’s true that you can not give what you do not have. =). This one is favorite!

  12. Phil Bolsta Says:

    I’m glad you found the post meaningful, Shelton! I think Nathaniel Branden’s quote says it all:

    Love is for people who know who they are.

  13. Serena Says:

    I’ve learned that I am not looking for someone to make me happy, or someone who I will make happy, but rather someone with whom to share happiness. I learned this the hard way, but the important point is that I learned it!

  14. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Good for you, Serena! I don’t know many people who haven’t learned this the hard way!

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