Are you getting along with people as well as you’d like to? Or do you often find yourself at odds with friends, family and even strangers? Well, if you find it difficult to get on the same page with people, the problem is probably you, not them. Look at all your relationships; you’re the common denominator. Here are seven steps for bringing more peace and harmony to your relationships.
LIVE MORE CONSCIOUSLY
Start watching your thoughts as if they were someone else’s. Doing this allows you to “step out from behind your eyes” and serve as a conscious witness to your own life. You may find that your view of objective reality was neither objective nor real.
ESCAPE FROM “PLANET ME”
Recognize that your perceptions are uniquely yours, that the world you live in has a population of one. Unfortunately, the people who are the most self-absorbed are often the least likely to realize it. Tape these five words to your bathroom mirror: “It’s not always about me.”
LOOK THROUGH ANOTHER’S EYES
As you live more consciously, you naturally develop greater empathy. Until you are able to take into account other people’s perspectives, you may often feel misunderstood and alone. Therein lies the secret: Others start treating you better when you start treating them better.
If you only concern yourself with getting your own needs met, you may very well get what you want . . . but at a perilously high price. Other people will resent your “me first” approach and begin to avoid you. Unfortunately, you will not be self-aware enough to understand why your relationships are suffering. So again, you will feel misunderstood and alone.
Before you speak, ask yourself how the person you’re interacting with will feel when they hear what you are about to say. If your comment is self-serving or snide or offputting or anything other than respectful, hold your tongue. Think of it this way: If someone would have said the same thing to you with the same tone, what would you think of that person?
It is always possible to be kind. Everyone is deserving of kindness; if you feel someone is not, that’s when they need your kindness the most. Fortunately, the more you consciously practice kindness, the more you unconsciously become kinder. What it comes down to is this: Do you want others to think of you as anything but kind?
DO NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
Virtually everyone believes that the way they conduct their life is the right way, the best way, and wholly consistent with the way they see the world. Therefore, do not take every transgression so personally; although another person’s actions may involve you, those actions are often not about you. The way someone treats you says far less about you than it does about them.
ABOUT PHIL BOLSTA
Phil is the author of Through God’s Eyes: Finding Peace and Purpose in a Troubled World, a comprehensive guide to living a spiritual life. Who will benefit from reading it?
Anyone who is on a spiritual path, or wants to start one
Anyone who loves life, or wants to learn how to
Anyone who is happy, or wants to be happier
Here is a two-minute video introduction to Through God’s Eyes.
• an overview of the book
• the complete table of contents
• the Foreword by Caroline Myss
• my Introduction
• chapter excerpts
• a sample end-of-chapter story
• endorsements from authors and thought leaders
Just click on the link below to download your free PDF sampler!
THROUGH GOD’S EYES PDF SAMPLER
Schedule a Mastery Mentoring phone session with Phil to learn how to apply principles of spiritual living more effortlessly and effectively. Priced affordably! Click here to e-mail Phil for details.
Phil is also the author of Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything, a collection of 45 inspiring, life-changing stories from prominent people he interviewed, including Joan Borysenko, Deepak Chopra, geneticist Dr. Francis Collins, acclaimed sportswriter Frank Deford, Dr. Larry Dossey, Wayne Dyer, Dan Millman, Caroline Myss, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Dr. Dean Ornish, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, Dr. Bernie Siegel, James Van Praagh, singer Billy Vera, Doreen Virtue, Neale Donald Walsch, and bassist Victor Wooten.
Reading this book is like spending a few minutes face to face with each of the contributors and listening to their personal stories. Click here to read unsolicited testimonials from readers. Learn more by visiting the official Sixty Seconds website.
Sixty Seconds was one of three finalists in the General Interest/How-To category at the 12th annual Visionary Awards presented by COVR (Coalition of Visionary Resources) in Denver on June 27, 2009.