Archive for November 12th, 2010

Barking Dogs

November 12, 2010

Some years back, I was doing my best to explain some relationship dynamics to someone close to me. No matter how many ways I tried to convey the information, she wasn’t getting it. I was convinced that if I could just find a better way to articulate the issue that the light would go on and she would understand. Finally, after yet another frustrating discussion, it dawned on me that the quality of my communication skills was irrelevant. I reluctantly had to accept that, for whatever reason, her take on the matter was entrenched, and even though it was counterproductive to us having a good relationship, I was powerless to do anything about it.

In an earlier post, I wrote about how my friend Melanie was forced to give up the expectation that her parents would someday be capable of the kind of relationship she longed to have with them. When she finally realized that they weren’t capable of having the kind of mature, healthy relationship with her that she so desperately wanted, she had to grieve the (more…)