The Best Gift You Can Give Your Child

My sister hugs our dad while my pet chameleon frolics on his shoulder

Years ago, I attended a lecture on healing by Dr. Bernie Siegel. During a guided meditation, Bernie asked everyone to close their eyes and visualize the child they used to be. He told us to go back to a specific event that had wounded us, to embrace the child we used to be, to give it the love and compassionate understanding it needed, to talk to that child and assure our former self that it was cherished and wonderful just as it was. As the meditation continued, I looked around. People were overcome with emotion. Tears were running down their cheeks as they bravely addressed the wounds they had struggled with since childhood.

Me? I felt nothing . . . but joy. I was beaming, remembering how loved, safe and secure I had felt as a child. I had racked my brain while Bernie spoke but could come up with no incidents, no wounds. I felt incredibly blessed to have been so unconditionally loved that my childhood was unmarred by emotional pain and turmoil.

The momma and me

After Bernie’s lecture, I wrote my mom and dad a letter. I told them that we had been instructed to recall a painful incident from our childhood and that I couldn’t think of anything other than the usual speedbumps every kid experiences. As I had numerous times before, I thanked them for giving me a happy and wonderful kidhood. My mom taped the letter to the basement door, where it stayed for quite some time.

Were my parents perfect? Nope. They’d be the first to admit that. But here’s the thing: parents don’t have to be perfect. All they have to do is love their kids unconditionally. When kids feel loved and cherished, incidents and circumstances that might traumatize others don’t have any power to inflict lasting damage.

It doesn’t matter how much money you have. It doesn’t matter if your kids have the latest clothes, games or technology. Loving them with all your heart is the best gift you can possibly give them, and the only gift that ultimately matters. Anything else is just details.





Click here to view all my posts about parenting.





Click here to see all my posts featuring my parents and grandparents.





ABOUT PHIL BOLSTA

Phil is the author of Through God’s Eyes: Finding Peace and Purpose in a Troubled World, a comprehensive guide to living a spiritual life. Who will benefit from reading it?

Anyone who is on a spiritual path, or wants to start one
Anyone who loves life, or wants to learn how to
Anyone who is happy, or wants to be happier

To order your copy of Through God’s Eyes, go to GodsEyesOrder.com OR order from Amazon at GodsEyesAmazon.com OR for an inscribed copy, click here to e-mail Phil for information.

Click here for more information about Through God’s Eyes.
Click here to ask Phil to add you to his e-mail list for updates on his blog and books.

Through God’s Eyes won first place in the “Spirituality and Inspirational” category at the San Diego Book Awards on June 22, 2013.

Here is a two-minute video introduction to Through God’s Eyes.




Want to learn more about Through God’s Eyes? Here is a free 40-page PDF sampler from the book that includes:

• an overview of the book
• the complete table of contents
• the Foreword by Caroline Myss
• my Introduction
• chapter excerpts
• a sample end-of-chapter story
• endorsements from authors and thought leaders

Just click on the link below to download your free PDF sampler!
THROUGH GOD’S EYES PDF SAMPLER





logic-of-living-a-spiritual-life-book-cover

Phil’s eBook, The Logic of Living a Spiritual Life: Supporting a Life of Faith Through Logic and Reason, is now available for 99 cents on Amazon.

Order it at GodIsLogical.com.

In this eBook, you’ll find answers to questions like:
• What is the cornerstone of a spiritual life, and why?
• What is the secret to liberating yourself from other people’s judgments and expectations?
• Why is there an exception to “Everything happens for a reason”?


Those who worship logic instead of God are only half right. Not only is it logical to believe in God and to live a faith-based life, the existence of a loving, benevolent God that governs all creation is perhaps the only systematic worldview that explains every aspect of life.




Schedule a Mastery Mentoring phone session with Phil to learn how to apply principles of spiritual living more effortlessly and effectively. Priced affordably! Click here to e-mail Phil for details.



SiSe_fullcover_final.inddPhil is also the author of Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything, a collection of 45 inspiring, life-changing stories from prominent people he interviewed, including Joan Borysenko, Deepak Chopra, geneticist Dr. Francis Collins, acclaimed sportswriter Frank Deford, Dr. Larry Dossey, Wayne Dyer, Dan Millman, Caroline Myss, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Dr. Dean Ornish, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, Dr. Bernie Siegel, James Van Praagh, singer Billy Vera, Doreen Virtue, Neale Donald Walsch, and bassist Victor Wooten.

Here is a three-minute video that introduces you to Phil and his book. Click here to order Sixty Seconds. Click here to ask Phil to add you to his e-mail list for updates on his blog and books.

Reading this book is like spending a few minutes face to face with each of the contributors and listening to their personal stories. Click here to read unsolicited testimonials from readers. Learn more by visiting the official Sixty Seconds website.

Sixty Seconds was one of three finalists in the General Interest/How-To category at the 12th annual Visionary Awards presented by COVR (Coalition of Visionary Resources) in Denver on June 27, 2009.

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2 Responses to “The Best Gift You Can Give Your Child”

  1. Serena Says:

    Phil, what a blessing that you could go through the meditation without a single tear. For those of us who had more “intense” childhood experiences, it is never too late to heal. I used to facilitate parent support groups some years ago. It always broke my heart to see how much many parents went out of their way to buy their children the latest clothes and games. As you said, these are not the things kids need. What they need instead is quality time in which their parents give them that unconditional love they have for them.

  2. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Yes, it’s a lesson that I hope parents learn sooner rather than later, Serena. I’m glad you could facilitate groups and contribute to that healing.

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