What Are You Afraid Of?

angry-womanMore than once, friends have confided in me that they are angry with their spouse or family members. My response is the same: “Anger is always a manifestation of fear. What are you afraid of?” The question catches them off guard but I see the light go on in their eyes. After pausing to reflect, they are soon able to articulate a thoughtful response.

For example, a man who allowed his wife to push his buttons acknowledged that he feared a loss of status as “the man” in the relationship. He was trying to avoid losing respect not only in his own eyes but in hers. Perhaps that realization will lead to a productive discussion between them about power dynamics in their marriage.

A female friend of mine who was angry at her mother and sisters admitted that she feared feeling powerless with her family. She had felt this way as a child and too easily fell into old habits when she dealt with them even though she was now a strong, successful woman in all respects.

Simply becoming aware of these issues will forever change how they interact with their loved ones going forward.  I suspect that they will not get angry again without asking themselves in the back of their mind, “What am I afraid of here?”

It’s a valuable lesson that we all must learn before we can advance to higher levels of consciousness: In the deepest part of uncomfortable circumstances stands the gateway to self-awareness and personal power.






ABOUT PHIL BOLSTA

Phil is the author of Through God’s Eyes: Finding Peace and Purpose in a Troubled World, a comprehensive guide to living a spiritual life. Who will benefit from reading it?

Anyone who is on a spiritual path, or wants to start one
Anyone who loves life, or wants to learn how to
Anyone who is happy, or wants to be happier

To order your copy of Through God’s Eyes, go to GodsEyesOrder.com OR order from Amazon at GodsEyesAmazon.com OR for an inscribed copy, click here to e-mail Phil for information.

Click here for more information about Through God’s Eyes.
Click here to ask Phil to add you to his e-mail list for updates on his blog and books.

Here is a two-minute video introduction to Through God’s Eyes.




Want to learn more about Through God’s Eyes? Here is a free 40-page PDF sampler from the book that includes:

• an overview of the book
• the complete table of contents
• the Foreword by Caroline Myss
• my Introduction
• chapter excerpts
• a sample end-of-chapter story
• endorsements from authors and thought leaders

Just click on the link below to download your free PDF sampler!
THROUGH GOD’S EYES PDF SAMPLER






Schedule a Mastery Mentoring phone session with Phil to learn how to apply principles of spiritual living more effortlessly and effectively. Priced affordably! Click here to e-mail Phil for details.



SiSe_fullcover_final.inddPhil is also the author of Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything, a collection of 45 inspiring, life-changing stories from prominent people he interviewed, including Joan Borysenko, Deepak Chopra, geneticist Dr. Francis Collins, acclaimed sportswriter Frank Deford, Dr. Larry Dossey, Wayne Dyer, Dan Millman, Caroline Myss, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Dr. Dean Ornish, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, Dr. Bernie Siegel, James Van Praagh, singer Billy Vera, Doreen Virtue, Neale Donald Walsch, and bassist Victor Wooten.

Here is a three-minute video that introduces you to Phil and his book. Click here to order Sixty Seconds. Click here to ask Phil to add you to his e-mail list for updates on his blog and books.

Reading this book is like spending a few minutes face to face with each of the contributors and listening to their personal stories. Click here to read unsolicited testimonials from readers. Learn more by visiting the official Sixty Seconds website.

Sixty Seconds was one of three finalists in the General Interest/How-To category at the 12th annual Visionary Awards presented by COVR (Coalition of Visionary Resources) in Denver on June 27, 2009.

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4 Responses to “What Are You Afraid Of?”

  1. Mica Says:

    Beautifully said and so true. Also worth noting that the fear often is related to power. Perhaps anger makes one feel power to offset the momentary experience of losing it.

  2. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Well stated, Mica. Yes, anger often surfaces in a desperate attempt to hold on to power, which is ironic since true power lies in humility and acceptance.

  3. Faraan Says:

    Phil! Your post reveals what is hidden under dust in the secret chambers of my brain…

    Anyways i have been a silent viewer of your blog for some time and this post pushes me to applaud you; magnificent piece of approach, as always!

  4. Phil Bolsta Says:

    Thank you so much for the kind words, Faraan!

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