Posts Tagged ‘colonoscopy’

Laughing All the Way to Your Colonoscopy

August 31, 2009
dave-barry-smiling

Dave Barry


Since I love to encourage people to stay healthy, and laughter is the best medicine, this column by humorist Dave Barry is a perfect fit for my blog! He not only delivers an important message, but does so hilariously. I hope you enjoy it! (umm, the column, not the procedure.)




OK. You turned 50. You know you’re supposed to get a colonoscopy. But you haven’t. Here are your reasons:

1. You’ve been busy.

2. You don’t have a history of cancer in your family.

3. You haven’t noticed any problems.

4. You don’t want a doctor to stick a tube 17,000 feet up your butt.

Let’s examine these reasons one at a time. No, wait, let’s not. Because you and I both know that the only real reason is No. 4. This is natural. The idea of having another human, even a medical human, becoming deeply involved in what is technically known as your ”behindular zone” gives you the creeping willies.

I know this because I am like you, except worse. I yield to nobody in the field of being a pathetic weenie medical coward. I become faint and nauseous during even very minor medical procedures, such as making an appointment by phone. It’s much worse when I come into physical contact with the medical profession. More than one doctor’s office has a dent in the floor caused by my forehead striking it seconds after I got a shot.

In 1997, when I turned 50, everybody told me I should get a colonoscopy. I agreed that I definitely should, but not right away. By following this policy, I reached age 55 without having had a colonoscopy. Then I did something so pathetic and embarrassing that I am frankly ashamed to tell you about it.

giant-colon-replica

What kid doesn't enjoy romping around in an 80-foot long, inflatable colon?

What happened was, a giant 40-foot (more…)