Posts Tagged ‘Cub quotes’

Out of the Mouths of Babes!

September 15, 2009
jim-barry-emily

Jim and Emily

My longtime  friend Jim Barry just sent me an e-mail. He said he signed up for a free dating website and when Judy, an attractive woman, put him on her favorites list, he contacted her. They went out for coffee and Judy told him about a fundraiser that Jim’s ten-year-old daughter Emily might enjoy. Jim will be seeing Judy again this weekend. After he told all this to Emily and she met Judy, her response was, “There must be a lot of guys who want to date her. Why did she want to go out with you?” Ouch!

Unfortunately, I can relate. When my daughter Erin was nine, I was sitting on her bed yapping before tucking her in. I mentioned that I only had two girlfriends before I met her mom and that neither one lasted more than a week. Erin thought that was pretty abnormal. She asked me, “Did people just hate you ‘cause you were ugly or they just didn’t like you?” Ouch!

erin-on-dads-back-photo-by-greg-schneider

Erin and me

I e-mailed the above anecdote to Jim and he responded with another Emily classic. When she was three and had just seen Cinderella for the first time, she took one of her toy wands, waved it at her dad and said, “Bippety-boppity-boo, I’m going to turn you into a handsome guy.” Once again, ouch!

And once again, I can relate. One night when Erin was seven, we were all watching Magnum P.I. My wife Kate was swooning over Tom Selleck and I asked Erin if she thought I was as handsome as Magnum. She paused, trying to figure out how to be as diplomatic as possible, and finally said, (more…)

Parents, Write Down Those Cub Quotes!

September 16, 2008

I am a chronicler. From the day my daughter Erin uttered her first word, I wrote down her every amusing comment. Since she was our little bear cub, I called her collection of witticisms Cub Quotes. By the time Erin reached adulthood, I had accumulated more than 100 typed pages of these tender, amusing and laugh-out-loud remembrances that spanned her entire kidhood.

Five years old
Erin was lying with her head on my chest looking at me. I was lying on her bedroom floor. I smelled something and asked her if she passed gas. Without changing her expression, she said, “It’s your breath.”

clown-girl-halloween-1982
Paging through Cub Quotes now, I am astonished that I have no recollection of some of the incidents I captured so long ago. I know that, at the time, I thought I’d remember every clever comment forever. Not so much. Time blurs the sharp edges of memory to the point where, if I do remember the incident, my printed account of it often differs from my memory of it. And if I do remember it clearly, I may be hard-pressed to guess how old Erin was when she said it.

Eight years old
Erin wanted me to rub her back at bedtime. I told her it was too late. As I was leaving, she called after me, “Rub your cub!”

For the sake of (more…)