Posts Tagged ‘growing up’

Seriously Bittersweet Love

May 10, 2014

Lori Anne Yang

This story by my friend, Lori Anne Yang is not only exquisitely crafted and beautifully written, it powerfully conveys what is possible when you consciously choose to break toxic, dysfunctional patterns of your upbringing and awaken to a joyous new way of being in the world. Not only will you transform your relationship with your life partner, but with everyone in your life, and with life itself.

May Lori’s story help you find the strength and inspiration you need to free yourself from the quicksand of old habits and debilitating drama, for beauty waits patiently, lovingly at the edge, reaching for your hand.



SERIOUSLY BITTERSWEET LOVE

seriously-bittersweet-chocolate-torteI sit knees to chin in the preschool chair in my darkened church basement-turned-bistro at a community gathering of music and storytelling. In my role as church lady, I replenish the dessert table when the selections become low. One beautiful cake is ominously labeled ‘Seriously Bittersweet Chocolate Torte” — emphasis clearly placed on the underlined word “bitter.” Fair warning.

I admit, I am tempted. I have been trying to lose a few pounds, but I have a serious addiction to bittersweet chocolate! I smile as I notice the inner argument I am having with my willpower is not unlike my struggle years before to quit my addiction to some seriously bittersweet love, emphasis on bitter. The kind of drama-filled, roller-coaster, anything-tamer-than-a-dish-throwing-argument-is-boring kind of love.

You see, I come from a long and proud lineage of seriously bittersweet lovers. Of difficult husbands and the women who throw stuff at them. It’s in my DNA. Passed down from my nimble forefathers artfully dodging projectiles launched by my foremothers in stories that have become family lore. Great-grandma pitching the sugar bowl at her chronically tipsy, but still impressively agile husband; sugar exploding into a sparkling crystal constellation on the freshly scrubbed cabin wall behind him. My tiny, diminutive grandmother chucking the cast-iron skillet at grandfather, who (more…)

Letter to a Teenage Boy

July 1, 2010




Last year, one of my best friends shared her concerns about her teenage son. I had known Alex (not his real name) since he was born and we had always had a great relationship, so I wrote him a letter. With my friend’s permission and encouragement, I am reprinting that letter here in the hope that other parents will share it with their sons.

The teenage boys of today will play a big role in shaping all of our tomorrows. May they come to know the value of love, compassion and empathy sooner than the generations of men that came before them.




Dear Alex,

When you answered the phone the last time I called, I heard a deeper voice than what I was accustomed to. When your mom later confirmed that your voice had recently changed, my thoughts flashed back to my teenage years . . . and I found myself cringing. At fourteen, I was incredibly naïve; to make matters worse, I didn’t have a clue that I didn’t have a clue. Thankfully, you are much more mature and wiser than I was at your age.

As I reminisced, I found myself wishing that an adult friend of our family had taken it upon himself to pull me aside all those years ago and give me a heads up on what to expect from life and how to handle myself as I approached adulthood. If you would be so kind as to indulge me for a few minutes, I’d like to share with you what I wish someone had shared with me at fourteen. Even though you have been blessed with great parents who I’m sure have already told you all of this, sometimes it’s helpful to hear the same thing from someone outside your family.

Do you know why I was so naïve and unaware as a teenager, Alex? It’s because I was (more…)