Posts Tagged ‘listening’

It’s Not About the Nail

April 7, 2014


jason-headley

Jason Headley




This brilliant, 101-second video is the creation of Jason Headley, who also stars in it. Living with a wife and daughter, I certainly learned this lesson the hard way. Guys, do yourself a favor. Watch this video and save yourselves years of beating your head against the wall.





Jason’s short films have been featured on NBC’s TODAY Show, the front page of Reddit, the front page of (more…)

The Secret to Being a Great Conversationalist

March 24, 2012


Years ago, I read this anecdote in Dale Carnegie‘s classic work, How to Win Friends and Influence People, and I never forgot it. It made that great an impression on me. Ever since, I’ve gone into conversations with the intent to listen instead of talk, and the rewards have been tremendous. Why would I want to talk about myself all the time? I already know everything I’d be saying. Instead, by listening, I get to learn about all sorts of things and creates stronger and more intimate bonds with all sorts of interesting people.





Here is Dale’s story:

I met a distinguished botanist at a dinner party given by a New York book publisher. I had never talked with a botanist before, and I found him fascinating. I literally (more…)

The Friend Who Cares

March 21, 2012

This afternoon I ran into a few friends on the sidewalk. They were talking about the perils of counseling someone they all knew who was going through some troubles. One young man in his twenties noted that he had recently learned that, “It doesn’t matter if you’re right; if you hurt her feelings, you’re wrong.” When I congratulated him on his awareness, he acknowledged that it was a lesson that had been incredibly hard for him to learn and that he still had a ways to go.

I could relate. When my daughter was in high school, she told me about a challenge she was facing. I lit up because I had gone through the same thing myself and knew exactly what to do. But when I tried to tell her how to take care of it, she interrupted me and said, ‘“Dad, I (more…)

Truly Hearing Your Beloved

November 19, 2008

In the June 2008 issue of Guideposts, I like how Elizabeth “Tibby” Sherrill described how she and John, her husband of sixty years, figured out how to communicate effectively:

Like all long-married couples we have our own vocabulary we call “hog hilling.” Hog Hill Road is a quiet street near us where we’ve probably logged 500 miles over the years, speaking and listening. Going outdoors take the issue out into a larger world where our problems don’t loom so large. It puts us side by side instead of face to face in confrontation. We’ve hog hilled all over the world, finding ears hear best when feet are moving. . . . And perhaps the best hearing device of all, to not talk about facts but feelings. Not about what one of us did or failed to do, but about the emotions involved. Feelings are something we all have in common, truths we can hear. (more…)