Posts Tagged ‘maturity’

Seriously Bittersweet Love

May 10, 2014

Lori Anne Yang

This story by my friend, Lori Anne Yang is not only exquisitely crafted and beautifully written, it powerfully conveys what is possible when you consciously choose to break toxic, dysfunctional patterns of your upbringing and awaken to a joyous new way of being in the world. Not only will you transform your relationship with your life partner, but with everyone in your life, and with life itself.

May Lori’s story help you find the strength and inspiration you need to free yourself from the quicksand of old habits and debilitating drama, for beauty waits patiently, lovingly at the edge, reaching for your hand.



SERIOUSLY BITTERSWEET LOVE

seriously-bittersweet-chocolate-torteI sit knees to chin in the preschool chair in my darkened church basement-turned-bistro at a community gathering of music and storytelling. In my role as church lady, I replenish the dessert table when the selections become low. One beautiful cake is ominously labeled ‘Seriously Bittersweet Chocolate Torte” — emphasis clearly placed on the underlined word “bitter.” Fair warning.

I admit, I am tempted. I have been trying to lose a few pounds, but I have a serious addiction to bittersweet chocolate! I smile as I notice the inner argument I am having with my willpower is not unlike my struggle years before to quit my addiction to some seriously bittersweet love, emphasis on bitter. The kind of drama-filled, roller-coaster, anything-tamer-than-a-dish-throwing-argument-is-boring kind of love.

You see, I come from a long and proud lineage of seriously bittersweet lovers. Of difficult husbands and the women who throw stuff at them. It’s in my DNA. Passed down from my nimble forefathers artfully dodging projectiles launched by my foremothers in stories that have become family lore. Great-grandma pitching the sugar bowl at her chronically tipsy, but still impressively agile husband; sugar exploding into a sparkling crystal constellation on the freshly scrubbed cabin wall behind him. My tiny, diminutive grandmother chucking the cast-iron skillet at grandfather, who (more…)

A Free Ride Through Free Throws

July 14, 2011




Maturity. Generosity. Compassion. Empathy. Class. Allan Guei has all that in spades at eighteen years old. The above ESPN video interview with Guei showcases Guei’s character while the Yahoo! Sports story below describes Guei’s heroic act.

The event – a foul-shooting contest for top academic students at Compton High School in Los Angeles – was created with a simple premise: Organizers wanted to show the kids at Compton how to create community spirit with college scholarship money as the incentive.

Following a tear-jerking gesture from the winner – it appears the true lessons learned were by the adults.

The kids in Compton are more than alright.

Three months after winning the $40,000 top prize, Allan Guei donated all of (more…)

The Barn Burned Down

November 21, 2010

In her book, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, Pema Chodron wrote:

I have a friend dying of AIDS. Before I was leaving for a trip, we were talking. He said, “I didn’t want this, and I hated this, and I was terrified of this. But it turns out that this illness has been my greatest gift.” He said, “Now every moment is so precious to me. All the people in my life are so precious to me. My whole life means so much to me.” Something had really changed, and he felt ready for his death. Something that was horrifying and scary had turned into a gift.

I have heard this story in so many different forms over and over again. Heidi von Beltz, a former championship (more…)

Your Own Permission

October 15, 2010

If you are not living an abundant life, chances are that you do not feel worthy of abundance. You probably think you have committed too many mistakes, experienced too many failures and made too many poor choices to deserve God’s blessings. I can relate. Then, while walking along a tree-lined country road this morning, I realized there were three reasons why I needed to work through my resistance:

Self-worth comes from one thing—thinking that you are worthy.
Wayne Dyer

Personal (more…)

Letter to a Teenage Boy

July 1, 2010




Last year, one of my best friends shared her concerns about her teenage son. I had known Alex (not his real name) since he was born and we had always had a great relationship, so I wrote him a letter. With my friend’s permission and encouragement, I am reprinting that letter here in the hope that other parents will share it with their sons.

The teenage boys of today will play a big role in shaping all of our tomorrows. May they come to know the value of love, compassion and empathy sooner than the generations of men that came before them.




Dear Alex,

When you answered the phone the last time I called, I heard a deeper voice than what I was accustomed to. When your mom later confirmed that your voice had recently changed, my thoughts flashed back to my teenage years . . . and I found myself cringing. At fourteen, I was incredibly naïve; to make matters worse, I didn’t have a clue that I didn’t have a clue. Thankfully, you are much more mature and wiser than I was at your age.

As I reminisced, I found myself wishing that an adult friend of our family had taken it upon himself to pull me aside all those years ago and give me a heads up on what to expect from life and how to handle myself as I approached adulthood. If you would be so kind as to indulge me for a few minutes, I’d like to share with you what I wish someone had shared with me at fourteen. Even though you have been blessed with great parents who I’m sure have already told you all of this, sometimes it’s helpful to hear the same thing from someone outside your family.

Do you know why I was so naïve and unaware as a teenager, Alex? It’s because I was (more…)

Oceanic Minds and Mountains of Truth

February 3, 2010


Like wisdom, integrity matures as you do. You can possess only as much as the level of your consciousness allows.

In shallow men the fish of little thoughts cause much commotion. In oceanic minds the whales of inspiration make hardly a ruffle.
Hindu scriptures


Every day brings limitless opportunities to shore up and strengthen your integrity. Every right choice makes you likelier to continue making right choices.

On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow.
Friedrich Nietzsche

As you learn and grow, your capacity to (more…)

I Was Young, Carefree and Clueless

September 9, 2008

clueless-is-no-excuse-road-signThere are people who don’t have a clue that they don’t have a clue. No matter how gently and compassionately you try to tell such people that they don’t have a clue, they act insulted, get defensive and accuse you of being arrogant.

Their response proves the point: the more unenlightened someone is, the more they will take offense when told they are unenlightened. Someone who is enlightened and mature considers criticism objectively; he or she either accepts the criticism as true and changes his/her behavior accordingly, or judges the criticism as lacking in merit and dismisses it without a second thought.

I know this to be true because I used to be among the chronically clueless. I was wildly (more…)

Goodbye Baseball Cards, Hello Life

August 22, 2008

willie-maysWhen I was twenty-three, financial challenges forced me to sell off my baseball card collection. I realize how trivial this may sound to some of you. But I had been collecting cards since I was six years old and they were precious to me.

I remember biking home from the drugstore at seven years old with a box of baseball cards—filled with twenty-four packs at a nickel each—and sitting at our family room table lovingly opening each pack, checking each card against my checklist, and organizing them into appropriate piles. My happiness could not have been more complete. Saying goodbye to my baseball cards felt like I was losing my best friends—and a big piece of my youth as well. I miss them to this day.

In hindsight, however, I am glad I had to let them go. If I hadn’t, I would have continued to (more…)