Posts Tagged ‘rejection’

The One Thing You Need to Know to Overcome Perfectionism

September 7, 2013
erin-dougherty

Erin Dougherty


This excellent post
by life coach Erin Dougherty cuts right to the heart of the compulsion to be perfect. I first gained insight into this subject by reading a wonderful and eye-opening book that explained the link between procrastination and perfectionism.

Here is the sentence in Erin’s essay that jumped out at me:

I never realized that perfectionism was an attempt to avoid all rejection, all criticism and all failure.

I’ve seen this fear control the lives of so many people I know and care about. Instead of making things happen and living a life of choice, they end up letting things happen and living a life of chance. The fear of criticism and failure is where dreams go to die. It makes me profoundly sad to know that decades from now, on their deathbed, so many people will experience the soul-crushing pain of regret at never having summoned the courage to follow their heart and chase after their dreams.

May Erin’s essay serve as a clarion call to procrastinators everywhere: Surrender to the indomitable spirit within you that ceaselessly whispers, You can do this . . . you must do this . . . there is greatness within you!



THE ONE THING YOU NEED TO KNOW TO OVERCOME PERFECTIONISM

by Erin Dougherty

“You’re imperfect and you’re wired for struggle but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brene Brown

There’s nothing perfect about me and I’m ok with that…now. This wasn’t the case for most of my life, though. In fact, I’ve been a perfectionist for almost 30 years. I’m not counting the first five years of my life when I was free to be as messy and magical as I wanted.

In third grade I asked my mom to buy me a stack of lined notebooks and colored pens. I spent hours neatly labeling each notebook by class, date and assignment deadlines. If I made one mistake like a jagged cursive letter or a misspelling, I’d rip out the page and begin again on a fresh sheet.

This was tiring but it was also a compulsion. Everything had to be (more…)

The Gift of Rejection

January 9, 2011

I’ve written ideas for humorous greeting cards for more than twenty years. Acceptance letters from Hallmark, American Greetings and other greeting card companies always brightened my day. My heart skipped a beat whenever I saw an envelope from one of them in the mail. It was exciting to rip it open and find out which of my card ideas had been accepted.

The rejection letters? I liked them too. They provided a constant source of inspiration. If the editor rejected all of my ideas, I’d get even more determined to brainstorm even better ideas that he or she couldn’t resist. Either response—home run or strikeout—inspired me to step my game up.

It’s a head-scratcher to me why virtually every writer I know sinks into the dark depths of despair at the slightest hint of rejection. What a waste of time, energy and productivity! Is your goal to become better at your craft or do you just want people to fawn over you and tell you how wonderful you are? If you want unconditional love, (more…)