It’s Not About the Nail

Jason Headley

This brilliant, 101-second video is the creation of Jason Headley, who also stars in it. Living with a wife and daughter, I certainly learned this lesson the hard way. Guys, do yourself a favor. Watch this video and save yourselves years of beating your head against the wall.

Jason’s short films have been featured on NBC’s TODAY Show, the front page of Reddit, the front page of

From Rubbish to Rubies

Adele

After being handed the Grammy tonight for Album of the Year, Adele, who ended up with six Grammys on the night, said:

This record is inspired by something that is really no more, and everyone’s been through it: a rubbish relationship.

Adele’s trash-to-treasure turnaround may be more dramatic than yours or mine, but there’s a valuable lesson embedded in her words that apply to everyone. All of us can look back at any kind of painful loss and see now that

Sand in Your Hand

Recognizing that change and growth are as enriching as they are inevitable, they neither resist nor resent each other’s budding new interests and aspirations.

If we have the self-confidence and the wisdom to be the friend of our partner’s growth, then growth is no threat. If we set ourselves against it, we invite tragedy.
Nathaniel Branden

Viewing their life together as an ever-evolving adventure, they encourage each other to follow their bliss wherever it might lead.

Relationships—of all kinds—are like sand

Love Is Always Open Arms

"Sleeping Couple" by Ivan Koulakov (ivan-art.com)

Spiritual partners place no restrictions upon each other. They grant each other complete freedom to do whatever they like with whomever they choose.

Him that I love, I wish to be free—even from me.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh

First, however, they thoroughly discuss the

Love Is Like a River

Photo by Preston Palmer (brovadoweddings.com)

Joining hands, spiritual partners step into the world together, certain only that no matter what comes their way, they will not be alone in facing it.

Love does not consist in gazing at

Let There Be Spaces in Your Togetherness

Photo by Preston Palmer (brovadoweddings.com)

In a spiritual relationship, while each longs for the other during long stretches apart, they know they are separated by distance only, that such breaks enrich their relationship.

Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great.
Roger de Bussy-Rabutin

Even when they are together, and in each other’s arms, they inwardly bow to the other, honoring one another’s spirit.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving

Feeling the Sun From Both Sides

A romantic relationship will continue to flourish as long as both participants feel loved and cherished.

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
David Viscott

While both partners cherish their time together, they respect each other as individuals who need time alone to reflect, recharge, and relate to the world on their own terms in their own way.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and

The Secret to a Lifelong Love Affair

Photo by Preston Palmer (brovadoweddings.com)

In a spiritual union, even when both partners’ love, loyalty, and support for each other are unconditional, the relationship will inevitably deteriorate unless each truly admires the other.

To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind.
Théophile Gautier

Admiration is the cornerstone of

Like a Mansion Built Upon the Sand

A spiritual union is a divine friendship between two people who are equally devoted to each other’s well-being and best interests.

All love that has not friendship for its base,
Is like a mansion built upon the sand.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Hand in hand, they step down from pedestals of preconceived notions and delight in

Loving the Distance Between You and Your Partner

In romantic relationships, “opposites” often attract, although the contrasts in question are typically not opposites at all but rather complementary differences.

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.
George Levinger

We are drawn to those who possess qualities we admire and wish to possess for ourselves. Such a person may have a different temperament, sensibility, or lifestyle, or simply

Locks That Fit Each Other’s Keys

Only when you are comfortable with who you are can you truly be comfortable with who your significant other is.

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.
Thomas Merton

The more authentic you both are, the safer you both will feel and the stronger your relationship will be.

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the

A Day-to-Day Work of Art

In an authentic spiritual relationship, each partner feels free to express their fears, frustrations, and longings, knowing that the other will listen carefully and respond thoughtfully.

The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands.
Alexandria Penney

Recognizing that wants can be sacrificed but needs cannot, they give special attention to exploring how

True Love Is Like Ghosts

Too many lonely, frustrated souls are unwilling to do the self-work that spiritual partnership demands. Instead, they chase a fairy-tale fantasy and wonder why it continues to elude them.

True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about but few have seen.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Every day that you follow your guidance and do the hard work of

Love Is for People Who Know Who They Are

Your search for a romantic partner will move closer to fruition once you direct your search within.

Those who go searching for love only find their own lovelessness. But the loveless never find love; only the loving find love, and they never have to search for it.
D. H. Lawrence

You cannot fully and confidently give your heart to another until you

Barking Dogs

Some years back, I was doing my best to explain some relationship dynamics to someone close to me. No matter how many ways I tried to convey the information, she wasn’t getting it. I was convinced that if I could just find a better way to articulate the issue that the light would go on and she would understand. Finally, after yet another frustrating discussion, it dawned on me that the quality of my communication skills was irrelevant. I reluctantly had to accept that, for whatever reason, her take on the matter was entrenched, and even though it was counterproductive to us having a good relationship, I was powerless to do anything about it.

In an earlier post, I wrote about how my friend Melanie was forced to give up the expectation that her parents would someday be capable of the kind of relationship she longed to have with them. When she finally realized that they weren’t capable of having the kind of mature, healthy relationship with her that she so desperately wanted, she had to grieve the

A Cherished Companion in the Winter of Your Life

Commit to a life of integrity, and you will consider yourself successful, regardless of whether you achieve career and financial goals, as long as you stay true to yourself and your ideals.

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.
Albert Einstein

You recognize that success is determined by the quality of your relationships—with friends and family, with colleagues, with yourself, with God, with the world at large, and, through your words and deeds, even with