Cyn and I help Grampo celebrate his 64th birthday, fifty-two years ago today
It was the day after Christmas, 1971. I was fourteen and my sister, Cyn, was fifteen. Our family was at the Vets Hospital visiting Grampo, my dad’s father, who had spiraled into dementia after undergoing double-cataract surgery months earlier.
Our beloved Grampo was sitting in a wheelchair in his room, staring vacantly ahead. My sister and I were sitting patiently on his bed, waiting to go home. It had been a long time since Grampo had recognized any of us or demonstrated that any trace of the Grampo we knew and loved was still “in there.”
Suddenly, Grampo turned to look at Cyn and me . . . and smiled. It was no ordinary smile. It was a radiant smile that spoke to us, telling us, “I love you so much, you have given me so much joy, and everything is as it should be.” And then, in an instant, he turned and was gone again, lost in the vast wilderness of his ravaged mind. Cyn and I sat on the bed, transfixed, not wanting to move, wanting to hold on to that precious connection, that loving smile, for as long as we possibly could. Four days later, Grampo was gone.
Today, forty years later, Cyn and I still talk about Grampo’s last smile with awe, reverence, and above all, gratitude. We can still feel his love for us as strongly as we did in that most unexpected of moments, and we feel blessed beyond words that Grampo was granted permission to give us that final, glorious gift.
Happy 116th birthday, Grampo. You are loved and missed beyond measure.
Grampo snuggling with his grandcubs
Click here to see all my posts featuring my parents and grandparents.
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April 20, 2011 at 8:01 AM
What a sweet and moving remembrance. Always wished I could have met him. How wonderful that you all experienced the gift of each other’s presence.
April 20, 2011 at 8:02 AM
Yes, it was indeed the most precious of gifts, Kathleen.
April 20, 2011 at 11:02 AM
Wish he coulda stuck around a little longer, but we sure were lucky to have him for as long as we did, aren’t we?
April 20, 2011 at 11:06 AM
Yes, it would have been great for him to hold his great-grandgirl. I’m glad I could share that moment with you and that it meant so much to both of us.
April 20, 2011 at 6:53 PM
What a beautiful family memory. :)
April 20, 2011 at 6:57 PM
Yes, it’s one of my favorites, Serena.
April 20, 2011 at 7:08 PM
How precious the memory. A loved one’s moment of saying “I’ll be seeing you.”
Bless his soul for giving you that smile!
April 20, 2011 at 7:17 PM
Thank you so much, Harriet.
April 21, 2011 at 6:39 AM
Made me tear up. What an amazing and special occurrence. I love our family!
April 21, 2011 at 6:44 AM
Me too, Er. I sure wish Grampo could have welcomed you into the world. He missed you by only seven-and-a-half years.
April 21, 2011 at 11:13 AM
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt memory! Thank you for sharing your gift of conveying the moments that really matter, the moments that make life precious and alive.
April 21, 2011 at 11:31 AM
You are very welcome, Julia!
April 22, 2011 at 7:10 AM
Phil.. thank you for sharing that… I love how what you need comes .. I am dealing with my little sister dying faster every day… and in her anger and frustration I feel pushed away… but late at night when the hospital is quiet she calls me.. and those moments are precious, even if all I am doing is looking for the smile or the laugh between the tears.
Your Grampo is proud :~)
April 22, 2011 at 7:16 AM
Oh, LunaJune, I’m so sorry to hear about your sister. I’m glad you are cherishing the moments you do have together.
April 22, 2011 at 11:51 AM
WOW PHIL THANKS FOR SHARING I LOVE ALL YOUR POSTS HAPPY EARTHDAY AND HAPPY EASTER TO YOU AND YOURS
April 22, 2011 at 12:36 PM
Thanks so much, Sharon!
April 22, 2011 at 2:10 PM
How very cool that, even as a young child, you were able to recognize and appreciate how special that moment was. Wow. Thanks so much for sharing this, Phil.
April 22, 2011 at 4:33 PM
You’re very welcome, Barb!
April 23, 2011 at 12:38 AM
What a lovely piece, glad your Grampo could give you that special message through his smile, showing his love for you and that this stayed with you through your life. Thanks for the share!
April 23, 2011 at 6:17 AM
You’ve very welcome, Margaret!
April 23, 2011 at 6:48 PM
That’s a beautiful and touching story Phil. Thank you for sharing it! And Happy Birthday to ya, Grampo!
April 23, 2011 at 7:06 PM
Thanks, Todd!